Quotes and Jokes (30 Viewers)

[Lucky13]

Had a driver (Keedwell) like that at work last night, the crack that he sported, had the same pulling power as a super massive black hole, I drove off at least four times the speed my forklift should be able to do....need to speak to HR about needing time off due to stress!

 

[buffnut453]

 

[Greg Boeser]

View attachment 708644View attachment 708645

Top photo, insert "or do" after "say".

 

[MiTasol]

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[Snautzer01]

Fixed it

 

[MIflyer]

A few days ago the San Diego Weather Bureau issued its first ever BLIZZARD WARNING.

Turned out it was a typo. It was supposed to be a Lizard Warning.

 

[MIflyer]

What astonishes me is how many well educated couples produce children that are born illiterate. I blame the Internet.

 

[Greg Boeser]

A few days ago the San Diego Weather Bureau issued its first ever BLIZZARD WARNING.

Turned out it was a typo. It was supposed to be a Lizard Warning.View attachment 708739

View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z87gchDzsAA&feature=youtu.be

 

[Lucky13]

Just saying....

 

[MIflyer]

Speaking of backyards, I have to turn the TV off if Jurassic Park III comes on. If my dog ever sees that scene where the T-Rex eats the dog right off the end of his chain, she'll never go outside again.

P.S. We have alligators loose in the neighborhood. The "Have You Seen My Dog?" posters occasionally stuck on telephone poles are touching reminders of the fact.

 

[Greg Boeser]

At least you don't have "Have You Seen My Grandma?" signs. Yet.

 

[Frog]

What astonishes me is how many well educated couples produce children that are born illiterate. I blame the Internet.

We sometimes see people having kids because it seems they can't have a dog.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[MiTasol]

What astonishes me is how many well educated couples produce children that are born illiterate. I blame the Internet.

Yep

They are too busy on "social" media to read the kid stories to get them interested in learning to read for themselves

 

[SaparotRob]

Yep.

They are too busy on "social" media to read the kid stories to get them interested in learning to read for themselves.

I fixed the punctuation.

 

[MIflyer]

At least you don't have "Have You Seen My Grandma?" signs. Yet.

No, we usually find them in their cars fetched up against a concrete mailbox or stuck in the neighbors' shrubbery. With no skid marks evident.

 

[manta22]

What astonishes me is how many well educated couples produce children that are born illiterate. I blame the Internet.

Dumb parents and the Teachers' Union should get part credit for these results.

 

[Greg Boeser]

I blame OB/GYNs.

 

[Greg Boeser]

No, we usually find them in their cars fetched up against a concrete mailbox or stuck in the neighbors' shrubbery. With no skid marks evident.

Grandpa Jim would wander down to the freeway on ramp.