Quotes and Jokes (2 Viewers)
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Use metric...it gives bigger numbers.
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
syscom3
Pacific Historian
Dad jokes are great!
buffnut453
Captain
It's absolutely safer in the KFC...I'm willing to bet that not a single employee inside the average KFC would know what to do with a live chicken. Getting frozen nuggets out of a plastic bag and throwing them in a cooker? Yep, they're great for that. Killing and butchering a chicken? Not so much.
Sorry for being serious in the joke thread...so here's one so old it's on the flip-side of the 10 Commandments. Never mind chickens crossing the road, why did the hedgehog cross the road? To see its flat mate.
And with that, I'm sprinting for the exit!
Greg Boeser
2nd Lieutenant
Reminds me of the time my fellow soldier, a Texan, saw a live armadillo.
"Oh my Gawd! That's a live armadillo! I always thought they were just born on the road dead!"
"Oh my Gawd! That's a live armadillo! I always thought they were just born on the road dead!"
A4K
Brigadier General
Not quite KFC, but close...(true story
)A much younger self and a few mates were drinking and walking through a local park one weekend (as you do). We would have been about 18/19 or so at the time. One guy, Levs, was a bit of a nut at the best of times, and especially on the drink. As we walked along the bank of the stream that went through the park, he reached down and grabbed something. 'Look' he said - 'Dead duck!'. Sure enough, he was holding a dead duck by the neck. We said 'Oh wow' etc, and carried on walking. Some time later, we realised he still had the duck. We had reached the busy part of the town by this stage. As we were hungry, we decided to bowl into the local McDonald's (it used to be cheap in those days). We knew the girl at the counter, so my mate Levs walks up to her, and says 'I'd like a McDuck burger please.' She looked at him surprised and said 'We don't have any duck sorry!'. He says 'There ya go!' and threw the duck on the counter... She unfortunately got in trouble because she knew us, and we weren't allowed back for some time after that...
SaparotRob
Unter Gemeine Geschwader Murmeltier XIII
Ask me how I know.
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,906
- May 13, 2018
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,906
- May 13, 2018
This is a sneaky trick I discovered:
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
"You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of your choice."
Unknown
"Karma is the universe's way of balancing things out. If you put good out, you get good back. If you put bad out, well, you know what's coming."
Unknown
"Violence does, in truth, recoil upon the violent, and the schemer falls into the pit which he digs for another."
Arthur Conan Doyle
"The universe does not carry debts. It always returns back to you what you gave it."
Drishti Bablani
"Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity."
Edwin Hubbell Chapin
Unknown
"Karma is the universe's way of balancing things out. If you put good out, you get good back. If you put bad out, well, you know what's coming."
Unknown
"Violence does, in truth, recoil upon the violent, and the schemer falls into the pit which he digs for another."
Arthur Conan Doyle
"The universe does not carry debts. It always returns back to you what you gave it."
Drishti Bablani
"Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity."
Edwin Hubbell Chapin
