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Just like Njaco has "The Pop Tart Whisperer", how about these for Maria.

"The Sausagefest Survivor"
"The Other White Meat"
"The Voice of Reason/Insanity"
or what Meatloaf said above "Poise, Charm, Looks, and Attitude"


Others?

OMG! That was freaking hilarious!!!!!
 

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