Ta lads (day still has 20mins left.... so gotta leave sumfink for ya: I will check my corrects when I get back Lancs....rushing now M8, x).
wanna leave ya smiling>>>>
with a few jokes (if you can call um that)
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
-None.. they just steal someone else's light.
Who ate their victims 2 by 2?
-Noah's Shark.
What has 2 claws and is very messy?
-A slobster.
What would you do if your soup tasted funny?
-Laugh it off.
Does it snow on Pluto?
-Not if micky Mouse lets him inside.
Where do bees go to the toilet?
-The BP station.
What did the mouse say to the web cam?
-Cheese.
How is crossing the road like music?
-you need to C sharp. or you'll B flat.
*******************
Not so much joke but more ONE LINERS>>>>>
-A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- Ever stop to think and forget to start again.
-How many of you believe in Telekinesis? Raise my hand!
-How does Teflon stick to the pan?
-A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
-A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.
-Assassins do it from behind.
-Before you criticize someone, walk in their shoes for a mile. That way, when you criticize them, your a mile away and you have their shoes.
-Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.
-Atheism is a non prophet organisation.
-Dont piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!
- Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies.
-A clear desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
-A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way, that you will look forward to it.
Toodles old chaps