Spare Santa a thought.

Discussion in 'Old Threads' started by k9kiwi, Dec 15, 2007.

  1. k9kiwi

    k9kiwi Member

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    There are approximately 2 billion children in the world. But since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces his workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million.

    At an average rate of 3.5 children per household that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

    Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to do his work due to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 967.7 visits a second.

    Santa has 1/1000 of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, select the correct presents, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, slap the rest of the presents under the tree, eat and drink whatever was put out for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and go to the next house.

    His sleigh will be moving at 650 miles an second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. The sleigh is also going to weigh over 500,000 tons, not counting Santa himself. And lets not even think about the G forces he will consistently experience starting and stopping.

    A conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds, so instead of 8 or 9 of them Santa will need around 360,000 reindeer (thats a LOT of doggy doo bags people).

    So next time you are having a bad day, spare him a thought.
     
  2. lesofprimus

    lesofprimus Active Member

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    But Santa is magic, and uses magic spells to make his journey on Christmas Eve magical...
     
  3. Wurger

    Wurger Siggy Master
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    Holly words... Les.
     
  4. magnocain

    magnocain Member

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    Ya, he teleports and freezes time
     
  5. Screaming Eagle

    Screaming Eagle Active Member

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    :lol: hes santa, he can do whatever he wants
     
  6. Heinz

    Heinz Active Member

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    sneaky bloke, hes had keys to all my houses where I've lived :shock:
     
  7. Screaming Eagle

    Screaming Eagle Active Member

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  8. Soundbreaker Welch?

    Soundbreaker Welch? Active Member

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    That's realy funny!

    But what if Santa did visit non christians????? Oh nooooo,,,, it would be even worse.............
     
  9. evangilder

    evangilder "Shooter"
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    He moves pretty darn fast for a big guy, doesn't he? ;)
     
  10. k9kiwi

    k9kiwi Member

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    Les. Bite? I think so. :twisted:

    Funny, I just returned with the wife and son (3 1/2) from our Fire Brigade Kids Christmas day.

    Santa arrived in our restored 1955 land rover fire engine. Kiddies all got their gifts and enough sugar stuff to last until next year, and heaps of games to play.

    A big BBQ at the station afterwards for everyone rounded of a great afternoon.

    Santa did his magic. We had no call outs during the day, and for that we all thank him.

    My son got over his fear of the big red truck and came for a drive in the back of the Rescue Truck with me, a special moment for us both.
     
  11. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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    I hear you Heinz.... Not only has he managed to get the bl**dy keys to every d*mn house that I lived in, he's also managed to leave someone elses bl**dy kids f*cking presents every f*cking time...learn how to read f*t b*st*rd, or I'll shoot you down next time....you pr*ck.
     
  12. k9kiwi

    k9kiwi Member

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    Is that Glaswegian for "Merry F-ing Christmas" ??:lol:
     
  13. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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    So it came through, even though I held back a smidge...? It sure means a Merry F*cking Christmas....
     
  14. Downwind.Maddl-Land

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    No he doesn't! The 2 Christmases I spent on duty at the London Air Traffic Control Centre you could clearly see callsign "SANTA" flying a transpolar route down the length of the UK and into Greater Europe. Presumably, he has his Elves doing the actual distriibution sorties while he flies the 'Towline'! Speed was about .85M!

    (Recordings were distributed to controllers' kiddies who were just being to doubt the existence of Santa - as if!)
     
  15. lesofprimus

    lesofprimus Active Member

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    Santas real I tell ya, I saw him at the Mall 3 days ago....

    He did look alittle skinny tho.... Make sure u guys put out EXTRA cookies for him....
     
  16. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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    The b*st*ard isn't getting any bl**dy cookies from me or milk and carrots for that useless Rudolph, as I hold on to him as a hostage until he deliver the f*cking pressies on my very short but precise list...kn*b jockey!
     
  17. Downwind.Maddl-Land

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    Ah! The joyous wit, bonhomie, repartee and goodwill of our Scottich cousins at this time of year (well, any time of year actually)..... Warms the cockles of one's heart, doesn't it? :rolleyes: It's in their genes, don't cha know? :)

    And people wonder why we want rid of Gordon Brown. (Please, Santa PLEASE!)
     
  18. pbfoot

    pbfoot Active Member

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    Anyone with kids might find this handy Norad is using Google earth this year to show progress of the guy this XMAS
    Norad Tracks Santa
     
  19. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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  20. Konigstiger205

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