Top 10 manliest guns

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by Aggie08, Oct 26, 2007.

  1. Aggie08

    Aggie08 Active Member

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  2. evangilder

    evangilder "Shooter"
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    That was freakin' great! I laughed my @ss off. Great stuff.
     
  3. Screaming Eagle

    Screaming Eagle Active Member

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  4. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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    Great read....even though he managed to say Viking TEN times.....:lol:
     
  5. ccheese

    ccheese Member In Perpetuity
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    That was really something. mkloby would swoon at his statement about the
    U.S. Marines...

    "The USMC (the manliest men of the manliest military on the planet,
    and true Vikings—shipboard warriors who strike fear into their enemies
    just by existing)........."

    Charles
     
  6. lesofprimus

    lesofprimus Active Member

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    Piss on the AR15, that little plastic piece of sh!t.......
     
  7. Aggie08

    Aggie08 Active Member

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    Haha Charles that definitely was a great line among many in the article.
     
  8. Cdat88

    Cdat88 Member

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    The manliest gun is the one you happen to be carrying when you take out the person opposing you.
     
  9. FLYBOYJ

    FLYBOYJ "THE GREAT GAZOO"
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    What a nut job - but freakin hillarious!

    "Ronnie Barrett is a true modern Viking. He hunts big game. He plays with guns. One day in the late 70s, he thought to himself, "Wouldn't it be cool if there was a RIFLE that fired the same .50 BMG cartridge as Saint John Browning's Heavy Machine Gun?" So he built it. That's manly.

    When the metrosexual Kalifornia wusses were wetting their pants over "assault rifles," he got dragged into the argument. You see, Ronnie sells many weapons to police departments, for use in stopping bad guys, so they claim. By "bad" guy they sometimes mean tattooed gangbanger. They also sometimes mean balding, pony-tailed, pot-smoking hippie, though. After all, this IS Cretinfornia.

    But that wasn't enough for Commiefornia. They had a ban on "assault weapons" (An "assault weapon" is a semantically null political term that means "It can be used to hurt people." As the REAL commies in Russia, who were men descended from Vikings (at least the ones in charge) would note, "Of course hurts people. Is weapon." You may as well refer to your "house home." The wussy definition of "Assault weapon" bears no resemblance to the US military's definition. It comes down to, "It's black and makes us poopoo in our panties!"

    So, even with a ban on "assault weapons" that included most self-loading rifles, including Barrett's M82 Light Fifty, the People's Republic of Kalifornija wanted more. They dragged one of his rifles from the LA SWAT armory and used it (Illegal for civilians to own, mind you), as a horrible example of weapons that Must Be Banned Lest They Pollute Our Precious, Bodily Fluids.

    They got their ban, because their voters are the type of trilling limpwrists one sees portrayed in movies as stereotypes…only in Californica they're not stereotypes, they're typical. It must suck to be a real man on the Left Coast.

    Now, Ronnie is not a metrosexual wuss. Ronnie is, in fact, a real testosterone-laden Viking MAN. He warned them then, then he told them, he would oppose them in their pursuit. And Ronnie does not make idle threats. He is a man of his word.

    A few weeks later, LA SWAT sent one of these rifles that they use for shooting fleeing mopeds back to Barrett for maintenance…and Ronnie sent it right back to them, untouched, contract cancelled, with polite instructions to stick it somewhere dark and smelly and ride it straight to hell. Not only that, he publicly and proudly announces in all his advertising that he WILL NOT sell to or deal with ANY government entity in communist third world Kali.

    And THAT, ladies and gentleman, is a MAN. While not everyone can afford or make use of his wonderful toys, it's certainly an honor and privilege to promote a real modern Viking who understands the application of bowel-emptying terror, and how to tell friend from foe.

    And there's more! After securing military contracts for anti-materiel sniping (Generators, vehicles, radars, etc), and facing the wrath of Sarah Brady and her Gun-Grabbing Sideshow (which wrath he snickered at, it having all the intimidation of an angry kitten and Ronnie, as we noted, being a Viking), he gave the ultimate middle finger gesture and redesigned the weapon into 25 mm, or TWICE as big. This is a man so cool even his sperm smoke unfiltered Camels. And that makes this gun the manliest gun on Earth."
     
  10. comiso90

    comiso90 Active Member

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  11. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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    Yup, we're very manly aren't we?
     
  12. evangilder

    evangilder "Shooter"
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    But the AR-15 does make a reasonable club.... :evil4:
     
  13. Cdat88

    Cdat88 Member

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    Evan, the AR-15 is most effective if you grip it tightly by the pistol grip, unhook 1 end of the sling, hold the end of sling in the other hand, let go of the pistol grip, and swing the damn thing! Deadly in a crowded elevator. Above description also applies to the M3 Grease Gun.
     
  14. Screaming Eagle

    Screaming Eagle Active Member

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  15. Nonskimmer

    Nonskimmer Active Member

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    He had me right at the pic of the girl with the pink highlighted AR-15. Cute. Manly? Mmmm, maybe not, but cute. :lol:

    Funny article too.
     
  16. evangilder

    evangilder "Shooter"
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    I've had a few times the M-16 decided to jam at a most in-opportune moment. After a string of colorful expletives as I yanked back on the charging level while calling the weapon a son of a whore, I did clear it. I could think of a few other weapons I would rather take along.
     
  17. Matt308

    Matt308 Glock Perfection
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    Hilarious read. Well done.
     
  18. mkloby

    mkloby Active Member

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    When did you join the Corps??? :lol:
     
  19. plan_D

    plan_D Active Member

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    That made me laugh...
     
  20. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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    :lol: I meant as a Viking.....ROOOAAARRR!!!!:lol:
     
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