How to argue with women, and WIN!

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by beaupower32, Nov 22, 2010.

  1. beaupower32

    beaupower32 Well-Known Member

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    Seems to be a few of these going around, so I figured I would share.




    Step 1. Abandon all logic. Girls don't use it, and you certainly shouldn't allow it to handicap you.

    Step 2. If you believe strongly in something, do NOT give in to any aspect of it. Compromise is useless against girls, because they will rationalize that if they can get you to concede to one element, they can get you to quit on the whole Periodic Table. (Nothing like a little chemistry humor, right?)

    Step 3. Don't be afraid to take cheap shots. Ever argue with a girl about something and they randomly insult you with something that has no relevance to the argument? That's their way of trying to wear you down and push you off-topic. Fight fire with fire, I say. Tell her she has a fat ass, small boobs, an ugly face, disorienting facial hair, unwieldy hips, and is a genuinely awful person.

    Step 4. Cite precedent. Girls have no concept of historical factors relating to the current situation. Most girls reading this just went over to dictionary.com to see what "precedent" meant.

    Step 5. Interrupt her. Don't let her talk. Girls hate that like they hate other girls. It's hilarious, too. They get all frazzled.

    Step 6. Don't take her seriously. Laugh at every point she deems serious in nature. Fart, if possible. Derail her emotional train.

    Step 7. If the argument escalates, cut off all communication with her. If a girl can't find you, she can't continue arguing about bullshit. Change your phone number, relocate, and get a name change if you must.

    Step 8. Don't be fooled by "Let's stop arguing please." That's their way of making you let your guard down, so they can swoop in after you're worn down. Instead, say something like "Yeah, all this being right is exhausting for me." Pisses them off. Just trust me.

    Step 9. Compare her unfavorably with another girl. This is especially effective if the comparison is with a girl that they simply abhor. Tell her something like, "Lisa is so much more compassionate than you." Girls hate other girls, like a deer hates a shotgun. And how do you take down a deer? Exactly.

    Step 10. Don't be intimidated by the water works. That's their ultimate contingency, knowing that guys can't deal with a crying girl. Stay strong, don't let yourself get emotional, just think of something funny. Replay scenes from "Office Space" in your head if you must.

    Step 11. Bust out, "I don't feel like fighting. I've proven my point." Then stop. Leave the argument. It pisses them off because a guy's natural reaction is to resolve, whereas a girl's is to continue forever and ever until the end of time until they hear that they are right. If a guy decides that he is right and won't budge, their whole concept of male-female relations is shot to ****. Again, mind games.

    Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag. Self-explanatory.

    Step 13. When all else fails, tell her she's just like her mother. It's an ace-in-the-hole and will emotionally cripple her to such a degree she may even forget her whole argument.

    Remember, girls are the less intelligent of the genders. All throughout history men have out-thought, out-invented, and out-created women in every facet of existence. Isn't it about time we won an argument for once? Gentlemen, that time is now.
     
  2. Thorlifter

    Thorlifter Well-Known Member

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    OMG! :lol:

    That was freakin hilarious!
     
  3. vikingBerserker

    vikingBerserker Well-Known Member

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  4. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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  5. Maximowitz

    Maximowitz Active Member

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    It looks like a recipe for suicide.... :D
     
  6. P40NUT

    P40NUT Member

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  7. javlin

    javlin Well-Known Member

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    and be sure she knows not were the key to the gun closet is at!!:shock:
     
  8. bobbysocks

    bobbysocks Well-Known Member

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    or not having sex ( which i guess you could deem as a form of suicide)...at least with her for a very long time! :lol:
     
  9. Gnomey

    Gnomey World Travelling Doctor
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  10. JohnAnthony

    JohnAnthony Member

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    Um, yeah. That'll work like a charm if you never, ever, ever, ever want to get laid again.
     
  11. Matt308

    Matt308 Glock Perfection
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    Here's a synopsis based on age...

    18-30 - Fricking hilarious, but unrealistic if ever want to have relations with any organic matter other than your hand

    31-45 - Very funny, but likely to result in severe loss of monetary funds and or clean underwear for work.

    46-65 - Nothing to severe, she already despises you and your existence.

    65+ - No noticeable change in your relationship
     
  12. bobbysocks

    bobbysocks Well-Known Member

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    that's pretty much correct because

    18-30 there are plenty of other fish in the sea

    31-45 it would cost too much to get rid of her and besides there is still "saturday night".

    46-65 any woman ( the other fish notion returns ) that would be interested in you..you really wouldnt touch with a 10 foot pole ( even with beer goggles )

    65+ dementia begins and ... um,...er..i forgot..what were we talking about?
     
  13. Matt308

    Matt308 Glock Perfection
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    Amen brother
     
  14. rednev

    rednev New Member

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    A harvard study has found there is two methods of arguing with a woman.







    neither works
     
  15. Geedee

    Geedee Well-Known Member

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    I'm not allowed to read to read this thread.....SWMBO wont let me :(
     
  16. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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  17. Wayne Little

    Wayne Little Well-Known Member

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    #17 Wayne Little, Nov 25, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2010
    :evil4:

    This would be a short term effect right...How do you win in the long run???

    Wouldn't it be easier to slide down a 10' razor blade using your B*lls for brakes....:shock:
     
  18. JohnAnthony

    JohnAnthony Member

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    It would have the same effect on your sex life.
     
  19. BikerBabe

    BikerBabe Active Member

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    1. You don't. We just let you guys believe that you win in order to preserve your self-esteem. Unless you pi$$ us off. Then we remove that, too. With the utmost, delightful pleasure. :twisted:

    2. Yes.
     
  20. Maximowitz

    Maximowitz Active Member

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    Who needs to argue when you have the charm of an Englishman?

    *Doffs hat, kisses Biker Babe's hand and offers her a glass of chilled champagne...*
     
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