Not sure what to do anymore... in need of guidance

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Those last couple paragraphs made for a tough read, hopefully it gets through to your brother as well. I hope your brother realizes how much his family loves and supports him, heck he's got people from around the world praying and hoping he gets his act together.
 
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I don't know if I'm up to late or what but

I'm in a really dark place. I don't know how I've managed to hang on to this rollercoaster I call my life. Its gotten to the point where even waking up and trying to go to school and make everything seem okay is a problem. I felt depressed, lost, and just not sure what I even am looking for in life anymore. I've been through a lot to say the least. Anyway I better sleep on it..

"No one knows my struggle, they only see the trouble."
 
Dude, been where you're at....got there by a different path, but I've been in that dark place. Let me tell you this, you've hung on to that roller-coaster this long because you have an inner strength that won't let you let go. You're not going to quit. Sometimes you get to the point where there's nothing else BUT that inner strength...that's the dark place. All you have left is what's inside you. And the catch-22 is, being that close to yourself, its hard to actually see that strength inside you, yourself. But make no mistake, its there, we can see it. Others can see it. And I wish like heck that I had something to offer, some sage advice, some timely wisdom to impart that would make things easier. I really wish I did. For me...its just a matter of hanging on long enough for the roller-coaster to quit plummeting and level out. Others may be different, have different solutions, but for me, its just a matter of hanging on long enough. Stick to your routines, that keeps things familiar, comfortable. Go out and do something you know you enjoy, whether or not you feel like doing it. Take some time for yourself. Its not selfish to need to take care of yourself every now and then. So go out, do something you know you like, and you'll find yourself having fun again. If you feel like you need to talk, make an appointment with your school counselor. Or post here, we're always here for you. But never forget, you've got friends around the world who are behind you 100% of the way, and supporting you in their own way, with prayers, good thoughts, etc. You're not alone, bro!
 
Thanks I feel a bit better this morning, I think since I've been balancing school, work, my older brother, and trying to spend time with my younger brother I've just been tired and frustrated.
 
Most of us older guys, and heck, some of the younger ones, have all been to very dark places in our lives. It's called "living". Every day isn't going to be roses and gum drops and some of the issues hang around longer than others. Some people handle rocky marriages, for some it's death, for some it's and addiction issue. I'm dealing with stuff for with both my daughters right now and it's been a difficult time for them for about 10 years, thanks to my stupid ex wife. You will have bad days and good days. On those bad days, do your best to look at the situation and kick it square in the balls.

Going through life, for all situations, there is always a resolution. Sometimes its not the one we want, but things will get better in time. Quite often, it just takes time. Hang in there bud. We all have a great big shoulder for you to lean on if needed.
 
B-17engineer said:
I don't know if I'm up to late or what but

I'm in a really dark place. I don't know how I've managed to hang on to this rollercoaster I call my life. Its gotten to the point where even waking up and trying to go to school and make everything seem okay is a problem. I felt depressed, lost, and just not sure what I even am looking for in life anymore. I've been through a lot to say the least. Anyway I better sleep on it..

"No one knows my struggle, they only see the trouble."
Click to expand...

Keep your head up, and keep looking to the light. Times might be tough, but you can always overcome it.
 
Not to sound like your Mom, but yeah, its amazing what a good night's sleep will do for a body. If you find your mind just won't shut down and you have a hard time sleeping, try some Nyquil or TylenolPM (on a weekend, until you know how its going to affect you the next day). Your body needs to stop and recharge its batteries every now and then. And yeah, gettin out and doing something you enjoy will help put things in perspective, too. Life is tough, especially when you assume the loads for other people. But, at the risk of sounding trite, you're building massive amounts of character right now. There's a definite balance that needs to be achieved between caring for others and caring for yourself. You'll find it, we all have faith in you!
 
Indeed, the best thing is too keep your head up. The best thing you can do is talk to people about it (its Self Harm/Suicide/Depression etc week here in Med school). Don't just talk about it here though, talk to your parents and if you feel the need a healthcare professional. To be able to vent frustrations in such an environment will probably prove very helpful (but again I'm only a med student so go via your local GP/doctor if you feel the need to go this route). Your parents if you can talk to them are still a good sounding board, don't be afraid to talk about it but that doesn't seem to be an issue.
 
B-17engineer said:
Thanks guys! Playing some hockey today got my mind off things it's my release basically
Click to expand...

Thats good, that you've found a release. I've been keeping an eye here, but have not had anything useful to add, as you've been getting great help and support from the guys, but know my thoughts are with you too.

You might also find some useful info here.
The site is put together by on of New Zealands most well-known sportsmen, who has suffered from depression, but a lot of the coping strategies will be the same.
 
Thanks very much guys, I've been over thinking things lately and have just been mentally worn down.

Anyways, back to my brother...apparently the counselors at the place he's at said he is the by far the brightest, on a short writing assignment they gave him he wrote 11 pages on and his writing was really good. He's been there almost a month now and after this next few weeks comes the decision of what happens next.
 
Update: My brother is now going to finish his high school year in a boarding school in Utah.

For Thanksgiving and Christmas we are visiting him out there
 
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