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OK, let's see what insults, bawdy comments and twisted humour this one can inspire !
New Year's Eve, 2015, in the local pub, and I guess you know who it is !
 

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Macclesfield, UK (Reuters): A reminder of the Cold War days was revealed today when Comrade Foxishev, aged 16, turned himself in to local police, having spent the past 40 years as a mole in the local Customs Office diverting legitimate imports meant to improve British society to their original senders. The disgruntled former spy cited a dearth of batteries for his Russian-manufactured mobility cart and a growing similarity of the local female populations' appearance to Soviet-era prison guards as a contributing factor to his loss of resolve for the cause. In a photo released by the former spy, Foxishev identifies himself in his private moments sniffing the fumes of Humbrol paints, which, owing to their growing lack of potency, now require a direct funnel to his sinuses to replicate the effect he experienced in the 1960's. In a mass showing of sympathy for this once prominent member of the community, many offered their coats as the fugitive was taken into custody. To demonstrate their support, local unions staged Wildcat strikes to support leniency in Mr. Foxishev's treatment by the authorities.
 

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