Quotes and Jokes 1 (73 Viewers)

[vikingBerserker]

...and both are getting VERY expensive!

 

[TheMadPenguin]

This is just as applicable if you change the captions to "My aspiration" and "My reality".

I'll let you figure out for yourselves which caption goes where.

"My Dreams ... My Achievements..."

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Lucky13]

One of my esteemed colleagues had this said about him the other week, "what, you're shtting me, he's a waste of a good pair of safety boots!"

 

[at6]

One of my esteemed colleagues had this said about him the other week, "what, you're shtting me, he's a waste of a good pair of safety boots!"

It beats being a "Waste of Skin".

 

[Greg Boeser]

This year I bought an artificial Christmas tree that's so realistic, it dropped all its needles two days after setting it up.

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[Crimea_River]

This year I bought an artificial Christmas tree that's so realistic, it dropped all its needles two days after setting it up.

Probably needs water.

 

[Airframes]

Yep, artificial water. It's available in powdered form, all you need to do is just add water .............

 

[Gnomey]

 

[ThomasP]

 

[Wurger]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[TheMadPenguin]

View attachment 605960

Fail
That's a heat-seeking missile (but the reindeer aren't in heat now) or it's a radar-guided missile, and those reindeer are "perfect stealth" (having never been seen on radar or visually for over 100 years).

 

[buffnut453]

...those reindeer are "perfect stealth" (having never been seen on radar or visually for over 100 years).

Not true! NORAD's been tracking Santa every Christmas for decades.

 

[TheMadPenguin]

Not true! NORAD's been tracking Santa every Christmas for decades.

They just say that to fool the Russians into thinking they're actually on the job.