An oldie:
The Air Force found they had too many officers and SNCOs and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer/SNCO who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The member got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer (a Squadron Leader) who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer (a Wing Commander) who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old Warrant Officer who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "from the tip of my weenie to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old WOFF insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the WOFF's weenie and began to work back.
"My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old WOFF replied with a wicked grin, "Vietnam!"