Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)
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special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 6,586
- May 13, 2018
From Disorder in the Court:
JUDGE: Do you have a coat, Mr.J.?
MR. J.: Your honor, I was stung twice in the mouth by a yellow jacket a bit ago, and I lost my coat. I don't know where it is, I am kind of getting my wits back.
JUDGE: You were being pursued by a yellow jacket and lost your coat in the process?
MR. J.: I am kind of coming out of it. I had something to eat and took an antihistamine.
JUDGE: Are you allergic to a yellow jacket sting?
MR. J.: No more than normal. I had paralysis in my mouth. I am kind of confused, and I don't really know where I left my jacket.
JUDGE: Are you prepared to go forward with these motions?
Mr. J.: Yes.
JUDGE: Let's take up the motion to continue first.
MR. J.: I still don't feel entirely comfortable, Judge. I swallowed the yellow jacket and he got me twice on the tongue. He paid with his life.
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JUDGE: Counsel, can you direct me to what evidence there is of prior threats from the victim to the defendant or prior general bad treatment of the victim toward the defendant?
I can find nothing in the evidence.
COUNSEL: Well..."F--- YOU"
JUDGE: "F--- you", I do not consider that to be a threat.
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PROSECUTOR; Could you point to someone in this courtroom, or maybe yourself, to indicate exactly how close to a hair color you are referring to?
WITNESS: Well, something like her's (pointing to counsel) except for more-- The woman right here in front (pointing to counsel) except for more cheap bleached blond hair.
PROSECUTOR: May the record reflect, Your Honor, the witness has identified Defense Counsel as the cheap blond?
More later
ed
JUDGE: Do you have a coat, Mr.J.?
MR. J.: Your honor, I was stung twice in the mouth by a yellow jacket a bit ago, and I lost my coat. I don't know where it is, I am kind of getting my wits back.
JUDGE: You were being pursued by a yellow jacket and lost your coat in the process?
MR. J.: I am kind of coming out of it. I had something to eat and took an antihistamine.
JUDGE: Are you allergic to a yellow jacket sting?
MR. J.: No more than normal. I had paralysis in my mouth. I am kind of confused, and I don't really know where I left my jacket.
JUDGE: Are you prepared to go forward with these motions?
Mr. J.: Yes.
JUDGE: Let's take up the motion to continue first.
MR. J.: I still don't feel entirely comfortable, Judge. I swallowed the yellow jacket and he got me twice on the tongue. He paid with his life.
-------
JUDGE: Counsel, can you direct me to what evidence there is of prior threats from the victim to the defendant or prior general bad treatment of the victim toward the defendant?
I can find nothing in the evidence.
COUNSEL: Well..."F--- YOU"
JUDGE: "F--- you", I do not consider that to be a threat.
-------
PROSECUTOR; Could you point to someone in this courtroom, or maybe yourself, to indicate exactly how close to a hair color you are referring to?
WITNESS: Well, something like her's (pointing to counsel) except for more-- The woman right here in front (pointing to counsel) except for more cheap bleached blond hair.
PROSECUTOR: May the record reflect, Your Honor, the witness has identified Defense Counsel as the cheap blond?
More later
ed
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
Ohh yes i would...
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
OMG, I just realized there's only one day left till tomorrow!
MiTasol
Captain
It is Monday already in almost half of the world - after 10am in NZ
Yep...and it's worse than you can imagine. Oh the humanity....
Vic Balshaw
Major General
- Status
