Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)

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"MEDIC....MEDIC!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yeah, I'll need an artillery barrage at grid coordinates CTX-472, fire for effect, over." "Firing...wait...have you even landed yet?" "Trust me on this one."
 
Subject: "Is that one word or two?"

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

"How do you feel about sex?", he asked, rather tentatively.

"I would like it infrequently", she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"

TO
 
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Cajones. We've all heard about people having Guts or Cajones. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the nerve to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

CAJONES is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the connfidence to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the prognosis: Both result in death.
 

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