Quotes and Jokes (4 Viewers)

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My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

Guess where I am now...
 
A married couple had been out shopping at the mall most of the afternoon, when suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared."

Irate, she called her husband's cell and demanded "where the hell are you ?"

"Darling, remember that jewelry shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it; and remember that I didn't have the money at the time and said 'Baby it'll be yours one day."

Somewhat embarrassed and with a blushing smile, she replied "Yes. I remember that my love."

"Well, I'm in the bar next to that store.........
 
Oh come on, Chuck Norris is no God. If he was a God, he'd come to my house and slap my head onto the keyboa fsjhgfsbdaugfdsoanfgdsiofjsnhg​jfsdiofjsdvfysdfojhdsagfsajgfg​euoiapfgjesuirfhgeJDSAJDQ8U67E​2U/....FHYSDG
 

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