Readie
Chief Master Sergeant
This made me laugh,
Quotes and Jokes
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This made me laugh,
michaelmaltby
Colonel
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The Chauffeur
Need of a chuckle. Fairly short and pretty good.
Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, the car hits it full on, and the car comes to a stop. Nancy , in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check--you were driving."So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old."You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer," says Nancy.Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face."My God, what happened to you?" asks Nancy.The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.""What on earth did you say?" asks Nancy."I just knocked on the door and when it opened I said to them, "I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow
Need of a chuckle. Fairly short and pretty good.
Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, the car hits it full on, and the car comes to a stop. Nancy , in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check--you were driving."So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old."You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer," says Nancy.Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face."My God, what happened to you?" asks Nancy.The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.""What on earth did you say?" asks Nancy."I just knocked on the door and when it opened I said to them, "I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow
michaelmaltby
Colonel
salesman is lost in the country, has been driving around and finally sees an old farmer with his tractor on the side of the road.
"excuse me sir, would you know the fastest way back to town?"
"Are you walking or driving" asks the old fellow.
"Why driving of course" says the sligltly perturbed salesman thinking what a silly question.
"well then you are already using the fastest way." and drove off on his tractor.
"excuse me sir, would you know the fastest way back to town?"
"Are you walking or driving" asks the old fellow.
"Why driving of course" says the sligltly perturbed salesman thinking what a silly question.
"well then you are already using the fastest way." and drove off on his tractor.
two woman on a night out are walking home, both need to pee so the nip into a grave yard.
no toilet paper so one uses her knickers the other uses the ribbon from a wreath near a grave.
next day their husbands are talking "my wife came home with no knickers last night" says one.
"thats nothing" says the other " mine came home with a card stuck up her a**e saying from all the boys at the fire station we miss you already" !
no toilet paper so one uses her knickers the other uses the ribbon from a wreath near a grave.
next day their husbands are talking "my wife came home with no knickers last night" says one.
"thats nothing" says the other " mine came home with a card stuck up her a**e saying from all the boys at the fire station we miss you already" !
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
LMAO
I am glad that you let me know that this is only a joke. You have no idea how relieved I am. My wife has gotten two postcards and three telephone messages that say this.
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of old aged pensioners when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and she hands the driver another handful of peanuts.
When she is about to hand him another batch again, he asks her "Why don't you eat the peanuts?"
"We can't chew them because we have no teeth", she replied.
"We just love the chocolate around them."
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on the shoulder again and she hands the driver another handful of peanuts.
When she is about to hand him another batch again, he asks her "Why don't you eat the peanuts?"
"We can't chew them because we have no teeth", she replied.
"We just love the chocolate around them."
wonder if he ran off the road about that time....
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