Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)
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The folksy little church down the road from me has a black congregation, so I had never been there. But I received notice that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson would be visiting, so I was happy to drop in.
I sat down and Sharpton came up to me. I don't know why - maybe it was because I was the only white man in the church. He laid his hands on my hands and said, "By the will of Jesus the Lord All Mighty, and the will of God, you will walk today." I told him I was not paralyzed.
Then Jesse Jackson came by and said: "By the grace of God, and his Son Jesus, the Lord All Mighty, you will walk today." Again I told him there is nothing wrong with me.
After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold, my car had been stolen.
I sat down and Sharpton came up to me. I don't know why - maybe it was because I was the only white man in the church. He laid his hands on my hands and said, "By the will of Jesus the Lord All Mighty, and the will of God, you will walk today." I told him I was not paralyzed.
Then Jesse Jackson came by and said: "By the grace of God, and his Son Jesus, the Lord All Mighty, you will walk today." Again I told him there is nothing wrong with me.
After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold, my car had been stolen.
at6
1st Sergeant
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This actually happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk.
A French policeman stops the Englishman's car and asks if he has been drinking.
With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malts scotches thereafter.
Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcohol-test (breath test) the Englishman and verifies that he is indeed totally sloshed.
He asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French Law, he is going to be arrested? The Englishman answers with a bit of humour, "No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car and that my wife is driving . . . . . on the other side?
A French policeman stops the Englishman's car and asks if he has been drinking.
With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malts scotches thereafter.
Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcohol-test (breath test) the Englishman and verifies that he is indeed totally sloshed.
He asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French Law, he is going to be arrested? The Englishman answers with a bit of humour, "No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car and that my wife is driving . . . . . on the other side?
Airframes
Benevolens Magister
Great ones !
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
Sad but true!
at6
1st Sergeant
A space ship lands in the bushes in a park. When two aliens step out, one looks at the other and asks, "What kind of creature has two backs, four feet in opposite directions and goes ooh, aah, ooh aah?
Crimea_River
Marshal
Bar Signs. First of several:
at6
1st Sergeant
Crimea_River
Marshal
