Quotes and Jokes (2 Viewers)

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I'm wondering. If Hillary becomes President, will she invite Monica to the White House to share a cigar and then Watch Bill smoke it?
 
"The food stamp program is administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture," text on the image reads. "They proudly report that they distribute free meals and food stamps to over 46 million people on an annual basis."

"Meanwhile, the National Park Service, run by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us, 'Please do not feed the animals,'" the text continues. "The reason for this being that … 'The animals will grow dependent on the handouts, and then they will never learn to take care of themselves."
 
"The food stamp program is administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture," text on the image reads. "They proudly report that they distribute free meals and food stamps to over 46 million people on an annual basis."

"Meanwhile, the National Park Service, run by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us, 'Please do not feed the animals,'" the text continues. "The reason for this being that … 'The animals will grow dependent on the handouts, and then they will never learn to take care of themselves."
Such irony completely escapes government officials.:rolleyes:
 
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It was raining hard and... a big puddle had formed in front of the little Irish pub.

An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water.

A curious gentleman asked what he was doing.

'Fishing,' replied the old man.

'Poor old bugger' thought the gentleman, so he invited the old man to have a drink in the pub.

Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked,

'And how many have you caught today?'

'You're the eighth.'
 
It usually takes me 5 minutes to get my favourite pub going from home. It is strange because the way back home takes me an hour or more.
 
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