Quotes and Jokes

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HEART WARMING STORY

Because of his stupidity and clumsiness, his teacher, was always yelling at him, "You're driving me crazy, Tyrone!"

One day, Tyrone's Mother came to school to check on how he was doing.

The teacher told his Mother honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never seen such a stupid boy in her entire teaching career.

The Mother was so shocked at the feedback that she withdrew her son from school and moved out of London , and relocated to Birmingham .

Twenty-five years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an almost incurable cardiac disease.

All the doctors strongly advised her to have open heart surgery, but there was only one surgeon in the whole of Britain who could perform the operation and he was located at the Birmingham Clinic.

Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful.

When she came round after surgery she saw a handsome young doctor smiling down at her.

She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but quickly died.

The doctor was shocked, wondering what could possibly have gone wrong so suddenly.

Then he turned around and saw our friend Tyrone, a janitor in the Clinic, who had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner.

Now...If you thought for one moment that Tyrone had become a heart-surgeon there is a high likelihood that you would vote for Hilary Clinton!

You sir deserve bacon!
 
A young New York woman was so depressed she decided to end her life

by throwing herself into the ocean.

Just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young

man stopped her. "You have so much to live for," he said. "I'm a

sailor and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship.

I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy. When

we get to Italy you will be SO GLAD you're

alive"



With nothing to lose and always wanting to see Italy, she

accepted.



That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a

small but comfortable compartment in the ship's hold.



From then on, every night, he would bring her sandwiches, a bottle of red

wine, and make love to her until dawn.



Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.



"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.



"I have an arrangement with a sailor," she replied. "He brings me food and I

get a free trip to Italy." "I see," the captain says.



Then her conscience got the best of her, and she added,

"Plus, he's screwing me."



"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island

Ferry."
 
Found on the FB... Airbus vs Boeing

Airbus-vs-Boeing.jpg
 

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