Quotes and Jokes (6 Viewers)
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Old Wizard
2nd Lieutenant
Robert Porter
Senior Master Sergeant
That's Hagrid's front porch!
michaelmaltby
Colonel
.... Canada is so proud
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau appears to be the first leader of a Western country to be the subject of truck art in Pakistan, with his inclusive stance contrasting sharply with trends elsewhere in the world.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau appears to be the first leader of a Western country to be the subject of truck art in Pakistan, with his inclusive stance contrasting sharply with trends elsewhere in the world.
Old Wizard
2nd Lieutenant
Fop!
at6
1st Sergeant
Playboy has had to go back to naked girls. We knew that no one ever read it for the articles It was always about boobies and buns..
Robert Porter
Senior Master Sergeant
Playboy had articles?!?!
fubar57
General
>> Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near
the lake. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I
don't know how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same
age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
>> "Well," said the big gator, "what have you been eating?"
>> "Politicians, same as you," replied the small gator.
>> "Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"
>>
>> "Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by
the Capitol."
>> "Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?"
>> "Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for
one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the
leg, shake the shit out of them and eat'em!"
>>
>> "Same here." says the big gator. "Do you eat Democrats or
Republicans?"
>>
>> "I eat the Democrats" says the little guy.
>> "Ah!" says the big gator. "I think I see your problem.
You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you
finish shaking the shit out of a Democrat, there's nothing left
but an asshole and a briefcase."
the lake. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I
don't know how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same
age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
>> "Well," said the big gator, "what have you been eating?"
>> "Politicians, same as you," replied the small gator.
>> "Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"
>>
>> "Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by
the Capitol."
>> "Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?"
>> "Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for
one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the
leg, shake the shit out of them and eat'em!"
>>
>> "Same here." says the big gator. "Do you eat Democrats or
Republicans?"
>>
>> "I eat the Democrats" says the little guy.
>> "Ah!" says the big gator. "I think I see your problem.
You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you
finish shaking the shit out of a Democrat, there's nothing left
but an asshole and a briefcase."
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
LMAO!
Old Wizard
2nd Lieutenant
David Feherty does a stand up show that is quite spectacular. It's all
about his life in golf, the drinking and lots of stories about life on the
tour. Here's one of his stories:
It was back in the 70's and a soon-to-be prominent golfer (Ray Floyd) was
playing at Augusta for his first Masters. Back then the players could not
bring their own caddies but had to use one of the locals. Floyd told the
caddy master he wanted a big fellow who could handle his bag, but who also
would keep quiet, no advice needed.
The caddy who was assigned Floyd said, "Hello Mr. Floyd."
Floyd said "Hello." And followed that with, "That's the last I want to
hear from you."
Everything went well until the 10th hole when Floyd pushed his drive into
the right trees on the par 4. After surveying the scene he said out loud,
"I'm going to hit a low fade out through that opening to carry and land
mid green and then roll over the crest down near the hole."
Surprisingly he pulled it off exactly and turned to his caddy and said,
"How's that?"
The caddy spoke for the first time and said,
"That wasn't your ball."
about his life in golf, the drinking and lots of stories about life on the
tour. Here's one of his stories:
It was back in the 70's and a soon-to-be prominent golfer (Ray Floyd) was
playing at Augusta for his first Masters. Back then the players could not
bring their own caddies but had to use one of the locals. Floyd told the
caddy master he wanted a big fellow who could handle his bag, but who also
would keep quiet, no advice needed.
The caddy who was assigned Floyd said, "Hello Mr. Floyd."
Floyd said "Hello." And followed that with, "That's the last I want to
hear from you."
Everything went well until the 10th hole when Floyd pushed his drive into
the right trees on the par 4. After surveying the scene he said out loud,
"I'm going to hit a low fade out through that opening to carry and land
mid green and then roll over the crest down near the hole."
Surprisingly he pulled it off exactly and turned to his caddy and said,
"How's that?"
The caddy spoke for the first time and said,
"That wasn't your ball."
