Quotes and Jokes (5 Viewers)

[Gnomey]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Wurger]

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

No more Political posts. I don't care if they are about democrats, republicans, or your damn cat.

Thread re-opened. The next person to ignore the forum's no politics rule will not get the thread closed for everyone, but will find themselves not posting anymore.

Please just abide by the rules. I honestly do not want to have to go down that road.

 

[rochie]

View attachment 615772

1: Do you know how to cook rice?
2: no, i dont!
1: O.k., add 3 cups of water and 1 cup of rice and let it boil!
2: "Sends photo"!!!
2: next?
1: next? Go fu!! Yourself!

Unfortunately i have employed chef's that stupid !
i told one guy to take the green beans out of the boxes and put them in the steamer trays ready for cooking, i got this !

 

[Wurger]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[MIflyer]

A little girl comes home from school one day and says to her parents, "They told us today that we are getting three Brazilian exchange students in our class."

Her Mom replied, "Gee! That sounds like it'll be fun!" Her Dad added, "Hey! That sounds like it will be interesting!"

The little girl looked aghast. "Fun? Interesting? You don't understand! We have no place to put them! Do you realize how large a number Three Brazilian is?"

 

[Greg Boeser]

Unfortunately i have employed chef's that stupid !
i told one guy to take the green beans out of the boxes and put them in the steamer trays ready for cooking, i got this ! View attachment 616884

This is why frozen pizza instructions are very specific about removing the plastic before placing pizza in oven.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[MIflyer]

This is why frozen pizza instructions are very specific about removing the plastic before placing pizza in oven.

Unfortunately there was one time where I removed the plastic but had no idea that a piece of cardboard was stuck to the bottom. Now, I look for that.

 

[ARTESH]

Well, nothing political, but are'nt these 2 person similar?



First one is General W. W. Jaruzelski (photo from Wikipedia), former President of Poland abd 2nd one is Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi!

 

[Snautzer01]

This is why frozen pizza instructions are very specific about removing the plastic before placing pizza in oven.

Now you tell me.

 

[MIflyer]

Now you tell me.

The instructions are different for those pizzas that include plastic as a topping.

 

[MIflyer]

Well, nothing political, but are'nt these 2 person similar?

Did the Shah buy Polish military surplus glasses or did the Poles buy Iranian military surplus glasses?

 

[ARTESH]

Did the Shah buy Polish military surplus glasses or did the Poles buy Iranian military surplus glasses?

Who was first? That's the Question!

 

[yosimitesam]

This is why frozen pizza instructions are very specific about removing the plastic before placing pizza in oven.

I shudder to think, sometimes, that the insidious warning labels that admonish humanity everywhere are a testament of something profound. Is it really just the 'liability' issues due to nebulous lawsuits about everything, or might some of us really need these? The former is more reassuring, in a way.

 

[WARSPITER]

Actually seen on safety instructions for a router - "Do not use as a dentist drill"

 

[MIflyer]

I thought it was ridiculous that those sun shades you put in the windshield of your car are sometimes marked, "Do Not Attempt To Drive With Sunshade In Place."

And then I encountered a woman who was doing just that.

I also thought it hilarious that you would open a box containing a new .45 automatic and it would have a note, "This Thing Can Kill You!" The warning note in a box for a Marlin 30-30 lever action was almost as stern.

 

[MIflyer]

Actually seen on safety instructions for a router - "Do not use as a dentist drill"

Funny that Dremal tools have no such warning......