Quotes and Jokes (5 Viewers)

[GTX]

View attachment 661881

Reminds me of this:

 

[WARSPITER]

View attachment 661881

Classic Down Periscope - always worth seeing again.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[MiTasol]

A balding, white haired man from Chebacco Lake in Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'There's no money in that account.'

'I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about my GREAT WEEKEND!'

See.......Not All Seniors Are Senile

 

[GTX]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[vikingBerserker]

Brilliant!

 

[Shortround6]

Yep, the microwave, alarm clock and and battery wall clocks I can deal with.

This is the real bastard.

Especially when my wife says it is 3 minutes off from the stove top clock

 

[SaparotRob]

Somebody look up and link Volodymyr Zelensky performs 'Balls out' for 'Hava Nagila'.

This is why Putin fears Zelenskyy.

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

 

[ARTESH]

Yep, the microwave, alarm clock and and battery wall clocks I can deal with.

This is the real bastard.
View attachment 662003
Especially when my wife says it is 3 minutes off from the stove top clock

I like the design! It seems like from a fantasy game world.

 

[GTX]

 

[Ralph Haus]

View attachment 662095

Burger, fries and a shake and change back from your dollar. Wow! That was a long time ago but still remembered.

 

[gumbyk]

Burger, fries and a shake and change back from your dollar. Wow! That was a long time ago but still remembered.

you missed the Delorean, didn't you?

 

[Ralph Haus]

you missed the Delorean, didn't you?

Almost bought one. Bought a 240 SX instead. But it was a cooler car!

 

[SaparotRob]

Almost bought one. Bought a 240 SX instead. But it was a cooler car!

Better yes. Cooler?
Wait, which one do you mean?

 

[ARTESH]

Her parents told her: You have to become a doctor, then you can continue Arts.

 

[Ralph Haus]

Better yes. Cooler?
Wait, which one do you mean?

The Delorean of course! The 240 was more afordable and saleable to the wife! Still regret not just taking the verbals for a while.

 

[gumbyk]

The Delorean of course! The 240 was more afordable and saleable to the wife! Still regret not just taking the verbals for a while.

Its always easier to get forgiveness than permission.

 

[Greg Boeser]

What's forgiveness?