Quotes and Jokes (8 Viewers)

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A wife in Ancient Rome asks her husband to take her toga shopping. He reluctantly gets the chariot and horses out of the garage and duly heads off to the toga store.

In an attempt to speed the process along, the husband grabbed a toga from the rack and showed it to his wife.

The wife said, "That's an L size. I'm big, but I'm not that big! Get me a smaller size."

So the husband returned the L toga and grabbed the XL one.

The wife replied, "That's better."
 
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Another Roman was a berry farmer. One fine harvest day he discovered the most beautiful berry that anyone had ever seen. Realizing that this was a gift from one of the gods, he fell to his knees repenting all his sins and praising the soul and wonder behind this amazing fruit. Soon his family and neighbors saw what was happening and joined him, offering prayers and gifts.

As time passed, the mighty Nero heard of the commotion. In a fit of jealous rage, he sent a troop of his guard to steal the magificent fruit and bring it to the palace, where only the emperor could possess this god's gift.

As the guards approached, the farmer rose from his knees and told the guards that the crowds were already too large, and he was going to have close the berry patch for a few hours. The invited the guards to return later, when they could offer their praises in privacy.

The centurion responded, "You misunderstand - we come to seize your berry, not to praise it!"

(Stolen - in a much shortened form - from the great Flip Wilson)

Cheers,


Dana
 

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