Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)

[Snautzer01]

Two blondes are out hiking past Ojai when they come across a set of tracks.

"We should be careful," says one. "Those look like mountain-lion tracks."

"Oh, pshaw," says the other. "Those are racoon tracks, are you dumb or what?"

They debated it for three or four minutes before the train came along and killed them both.

Yeah sure but what about the lion ?

 

[Thumpalumpacus]

Yeah sure but what about the lion ?

He was well-fed that night, from what I understand.

 

[Snautzer01]

Did it sleep?

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Thumpalumpacus]

Did it sleep?

You'll need to find a blonde to investigate that question.

 

[Lucky13]

According to The Tokens, the lions slept that night....

 

[MiTasol]

 

[MiTasol]

According to The Tokens, the lions slept that night....

That song has a very interesting history.

It was written, in Zulu, and recorded in 1939 by a South African named Soloman Linda who died a pauper in 1962 because the Tokens (and many other artists) stole his work and never paid royalties (until 15 years ago).

Solomon Linda was also one of the "founders" of that style of music - it in turn being a commercial derivative of his tribal groups traditional music

 

[special ed]

 

[special ed]

 

[MiTasol]

We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~ Aesop, Greek slave & fable author

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~ Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~ Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. ~ Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow for the Defence' by Irving Stone.

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~ John Quinton, American actor/writer

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
~Oscar Ameringer, "the Mark Twain of American Socialism."

I offered my opponents a deal: "if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them". ~ Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952.

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country . ~ Texas Guinan. 19th-century American businessman

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~ Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
~Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner who won gold medals at the 1924 Olympic Games

I am reminded of a joke: What happens if a politician drowns in a river? That is pollution.
What happens if all of them drown? That is a solution!

I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two are lawyers and three or more are the government.
~John Adams (1735 - 1826)

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Government. But then I repeat myself. ~ Mark Twain (1835- 1910)

I don't make jokes. I just watch the Government and report the facts! ~ Will Rogers (1879- 1935)

 

[MiTasol]

And one of my favourites - author unknown

Why should politicians be buried (alive) in a grave 100 metres deep?

Because deep deep down they are quite nice people

 

[Gnomey]

 

[VBF-13]

Before they get elected, they kiss our ass. After they get elected, we kiss their ass. That's it, in a nut.

 

[VBF-13]

 

[special ed]

 

[special ed]

 

[DerAdlerIstGelandet]

 

[Snautzer01]

View attachment 672606

Dude looks like a lady

 

[special ed]