Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)

[michaelmaltby]

From a woman's point of view…

The most perfect man in the world is her father.

The most abused husband in the world is her brother.

The most handsome man in the world is her son.

The luckiest and happiest man in the world is her sister's husband.

The most thankful man in the world is her son in law.

And the worst, most selfish, heartless, total jerk and the man with worst behavior in the world is her husband

 

[michaelmaltby]

Stronger beer:

"STRONGER BEER" TIM HICKS (LYRIC VIDEO) - Safeshare.TV

 

[Gnomey]

 

[michaelmaltby]

The Aisle Seat

Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat... Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a coke.' 'Don't get up,' said the Marine, 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.' As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine's shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good, I'd really like one, too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors... 'Why does it have to be this way?' 'How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?

 

[Gnomey]

 

[vikingBerserker]

LMAO

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[Airframes]

Good one. A variation of a 1970's Billy Connoly joke, but still good!

 

[michaelmaltby]

Wicked funny. At your own risk


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gynby-0kkTg

MM

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Wurger]

 

[Airframes]

Brilliant!

 

[Gnomey]

 

[nincomp]

Here is a link to my favorite internet-related cartoon:

xkcd: Duty Calls

Note: place the mouse pointer on the cartoon to see a second caption. <this guy uses something called a "mouse-over">

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[Wurger]

A husband returned home and is asking his wife what is for the dinner.
- Nothing , she is replaying.
Oh.. but the nothing was yesterday as well .. he is saying , being a little bit surprised.
Well ... I have fixed the nothing for a couple of days - is her answer.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[GrauGeist]

Saw this today, had to share it!

 

[Wurger]