What we are thinking!

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by Lucky13, Apr 29, 2010.

  1. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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    Men love women. The way they look, smell, walk and talk are just some of the reasons why we consider them a divine species. Yet we can't live with them, and we certainly can't live without them...

    ...for the most part anyway, because perfect, they are not. And upon serious analysis, I've discovered the top 10 things women do that drive men to the brink of insanity.

    10. Pretend to be virtuous
    A recurring theme among many women is that they try to place themselves under a "holier than thou" light, never admitting that they fooled around or dividing their number of boyfriends by five. Now, we applaud those ladies who truly are innocent and pure, but the rest should stop trying to water down their past. Women are allowed to have just as much fun as guys, and they should find a man who can appreciate that.

    9. Criticize other women
    Why is it that many women can't make a simple compliment toward another woman? They love to nitpick about everything from weight to hairstyle and everything in between. Only a woman will notice if another woman's shoes don't match her purse and turn it into a calamity.
    Granted there are some women who are readily willing to admit when another woman is hot (and hopefully invite her over for a ménage à trois), but most don't want to distract their men with any competition. Nevertheless, we spot the hot ones anyway.


    8. Act jealous
    Oftentimes, just mentioning another woman's name can spell the end of your existence. Imagine, then, the warfare you'll have to endure if she finds out you were at a gentleman's club.
    Call it what you will, but a lot of women have this thing that causes them to second-guess everything, especially their man's loyalty. That's why when another female enters the equation in any way, shape or form, she tenses up. If you've given her reason to doubt you, then her paranoia is likely justified. Otherwise, you shouldn't have to pay the price because she's feeling insecure.


    7. Become needy
    Some women have some serious security issues. They need their men to hold them, rub them and tell them how special they are. They turn men into their emotional crutch and look to us for moral, mental and emotional support.
    There's a real irony here when you think of all the women who go out of their way to show us how independent they are. These are usually the same women who become extremely insecure once they finally fall in love. Of course, as tempting as it may be to use this to our advantage, I think most men would prefer the tougher version. This way, they'd at least retain some peace of mind.


    6. Speak in code
    The old "What are you thinking?" question is a timeless example of how women love to test their men and search for our true feelings about them. They hurtle obscure, theoretical questions at us that, according to them, we're supposed to know the answers to if we're really their soul mates.
    What a pitiful sight it is, seeing a guy tense up as his mind goes into overdrive, looking for the right answer, while his lady looks on from a distance with her arms folded and foot tapping. At this point, there's nothing left to do except throw an answer out there and hope we don't end up in the doghouse.


    5. Invade our personal space
    Women have this instinctive tic that makes them want to groom us anytime they want and make our personal belongings theirs.
    In other words, when they're not adjusting our tie for the umpteenth time, they're rummaging through our drawers, looking for a sweatshirt to change into. Am I the only one who sees a problem here? We all know that there would be hell to pay if we so much as thought about giving them a haircut or sorting through their stuff, so why is it that our turf is fair game?


    4. Become too emotional
    They cry over anything: a sad movie (or even a happy one), a broken nail or a haircut gone awry. What's worse, they expect us to clean up the emotional mess. And if there's one thing we suck at, it's dealing with a crying woman on our shoulder.
    It's not that we're insensitive, but aside from saying, "There there, sweetie," we don't know the first thing about comforting a woman. The fact that women are usually more delicate and vulnerable is great; we just don't want the steady stream of tears for every minor setback.


    3. Shop till they drop
    When it comes to shopping, there just aren't enough hours in the day for most women. Whether it's browsing, window-shopping or an all-out spending spree, they can spend hours on end in a shoe store, among others, without even thinking about food, water or any of their responsibilities.
    But what's worse is that they have to take us along for the ride. So there we go, from store to store, wandering aimlessly back and forth while they inspect every article of clothing by its respective price tag.


    2. Talk incessantly
    Chris Rock nailed it when he said that asking how her day went renders a 45-minute conversation. Most women love to talk, and if you give them the ammo, they won't stop. It's not that we don't care about what they have to say; it's just that we don't need to hear every minute detail.


    1. Use sex as a weapon
    In the war of the sexes, it's all about who wears the pants in the relationship. Oftentimes most women, in an effort to show their superiority, will attack men's universal weak spot: sex.
    And while I applaud them for this gutsy tactic, they really should leave the basic human needs alone, don't you think?


    Learn to Tolerate
    In the grand scheme of things, women's annoying habits aren't that bad. Chances are you'll adapt to them in time, as will she when it comes to your annoying tendencies. Nobody's perfect, and I think that's something we can all agree on.
     
  2. RabidAlien

    RabidAlien Active Member

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    Insightful and introspective. :occasion5: Been drinking again, Jan?
     
  3. Geedee

    Geedee Well-Known Member

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    Dude...thats pretty deep for this time of day !!!.

    You may have seen this ?

    MSDS (Material Safety Data Sheet) For Women
    Element: Women
    Symbol: WO2
    Discoverer: Adam
    Atomic Mass: Accepted at 118lb but known to vary from 100 to 550 lbs
    Occurrence: Copious quantities in urban areas

    Physical properties

    1. Surface usually covered with painted film
    2. Boils at nothings, freezes without reasons
    3. Melts if given special treatment
    4. Bitter if incorrectly used
    5. Found in various states raging from virgin to common ore

    Chemical properties

    1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones
    2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
    3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known
    reasons
    4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased in saturation in
    alcohol
    5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known

    Common uses

    1. Highly ornamental, especially in sport cars
    2. Can be great aid to relaxation

    Tests

    1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
    2. Turns green when placed beside better specimen

    Hazards

    1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands



    And dont forget....Confucious once said "Man born of woman...spend rest of life trying to get back in !"
     
  4. T Bolt

    T Bolt Well-Known Member

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    =D>=D>=D>
     
  5. RabidAlien

    RabidAlien Active Member

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    :evil4:

    (btw...my wife did not laugh, for some reason)
     
  6. Aaron Brooks Wolters

    Aaron Brooks Wolters Well-Known Member

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    Gee...... I wonder why?:lol: :lol: Oh, and Gary, we have one of those hung up in the shop at the front door.:)
     
  7. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

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  8. Negative Creep

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    Or going on about how they like the 'bad boys'. Then spend ages whinging about how all men are assholes, except you of course, but she only likes you as a friend
     
  9. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

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    Yep... The good old "good guys ends last" rethoric. I know it first hand !

    "Oh, I love you... As a friend."

    D'OH ! :rolleyes:
     
  10. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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    Never heard that one before....:rolleyes: :lol:
     
  11. Airframes

    Airframes Benevolens Magister

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    Women - bl**dy waste of rations!
     
  12. Catch22

    Catch22 Well-Known Member

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    Heh, even worse is "You're like a brother to me!"

    :rolleyes:
     
  13. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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    Another classic,* it's not you, it's me*.....
     
  14. RabidAlien

    RabidAlien Active Member

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    Yeah, heard that one once or twice. :rolleyes:
     
  15. fatboris

    fatboris Member

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    A woman? :shock:
     
  16. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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