Just sayin'...

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by meatloaf109, Jun 24, 2012.

  1. meatloaf109

    meatloaf109 Well-Known Member

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    I decided the other day to write my own eulogy, (not that I'm planning to go anywhere soon, mind you), it's just that I don't think it should be left to people that might be too sad/ happy to do me justice, so...

    (To be read by my best friend)
    Well, the old [email protected] finally kicked it. His last words were, "Hey, watch this!
    He lived twice as long as he thought he would, and probably four times as long as he deserved.
    Since his mother wanted him to be either a Doctor, a Lawyer or a Preacher, he decided at an early age to dedicate himself to the pursuit of women instead.
    He never really amounted to much, or did anything spectacular; but being as he never really wanted to, he was really quite successful.
    His hobbies were many and varied and some of them can even be mentioned in polite society.
    Thanks to the two of you that showed up, but any money he may have had on him when the unfortunate potato cannon accident(?) happened, I got, so,
    DRINKS ON ME!
     
  2. Crimea_River

    Crimea_River Well-Known Member

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    :lol: Hope you stick around for a while though!
     
  3. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    Meatloaf was not a rich man. He was not a proud man. He was not a successful man. Nor was he especially attractive, articulate, or even remotely respected. Neither was he particularly well-liked or hygienic. So I suppose, what I'm really trying to say is... there's cake back at the house and if we hurry, we can probably catch the second half of the Bulls game.
     
  4. Lucky13

    Lucky13 Forum Mascot

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    Where's the lapdancers and the strippers!?
     
  5. Njaco

    Njaco The Pop-Tart Whisperer
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    I'm only delivering a pizza and the usher wouldn't let me leave!


    Thats $10.50.
     
  6. meatloaf109

    meatloaf109 Well-Known Member

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    Too funny!
    Mike, I will graft that into my "official" eulogy on paper! Love the ending!
     
  7. RabidAlien

    RabidAlien Active Member

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  8. A4K

    A4K Well-Known Member

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    Like it! Hope you don't need it for LONGGGGGG time yet though Paul! :)
     
  9. Wayne Little

    Wayne Little Well-Known Member

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    :lol: am I supposed to be laughing at this point?
     
  10. meatloaf109

    meatloaf109 Well-Known Member

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    Sure,...It amuses me!
     
  11. Njaco

    Njaco The Pop-Tart Whisperer
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    .
     

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  12. vikingBerserker

    vikingBerserker Well-Known Member

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    :evil4:

    I hope I die in such a humorous way that people snicker during my services.
     
  13. GrauGeist

    GrauGeist Well-Known Member

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    I figure when I take the big dirt nap, they can just dig a big hole and toss in my carcass along with all my stuff...then heave a big sigh of relief and throw a huge party, because I never did figure out how to pull off world domination.

    (that was a goal of mine...)
     
  14. A4K

    A4K Well-Known Member

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    Guys... :lol:

    A headstone from the New York gangster days (from 'A small book of grave humour'):

    Here lies Lester Moore
    Four slugs from a 44
    No Les, no more

    and an Irish headstone from same:

    To the loving memory of John ( - can't remember surname)
    Who was drowned in the river of Leith
    By a few affectionate friends.

    :)
     
  15. vikingBerserker

    vikingBerserker Well-Known Member

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  16. Wayne Little

    Wayne Little Well-Known Member

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    :thumbright:
     
  17. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    Viking B had many hobbies, and he was very proud of them. He had that rarest of gifts: the ability to find the beauty and artistry in the hardcore amateur farm porn he shot with his Super 8 over at Oakville Community Stables. And while it is truly a tragedy when someone so young is taken from us so unexpectedly, it is doubly heart-wrenching in circumstances such as these, when a promising career in direct-to-video adult entertainment is cut so terribly short.
     
  18. Njaco

    Njaco The Pop-Tart Whisperer
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    along with his fascination with Katherine the Great!
     
  19. GrauGeist

    GrauGeist Well-Known Member

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  20. oldcrowcv63

    oldcrowcv63 Well-Known Member

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    Now that's a funeral that would bring tears to my eyes. and probably give me a stroke. :cry:

    I have a friend in hospice care for what appear to be his last days. He woke up today after essentially sleeping for the last 5. His first words were, "I want a margarita! Somebody get me a margarita!"
    His next sentence was, "Will someone please get me outta here! I wanna go home!" Reports of his imminent death may be somewhat exagerated. Something tells me that when MeatLaof goes, it'll be with a margarita or equivelant in his hand. May it be so and no time soon.
     
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