Quotes and Jokes (8 Viewers)

[MIflyer]

The Nudist area of Wal-Mart?

 

[MIflyer]

A good idea! But why'd they stick pins through all of them?

 

[MIflyer]

Is Swedish Fish a code word for something?

 

[MIflyer]

Eh?

 

[MIflyer]

On many an occasion I have questioned the intelligence of those who plan streets and program traffic lights, but this is really beyond the pale.

 

[MiTasol]

That has to be the Bundaberg Regional Council,

or maybe Keilor City Council

 

[ThomasP]

 

[at6]

A good idea! But why'd they stick pins through all of them?

View attachment 743361

That explains my indigenous name. Popped Condom.

 

[MIflyer]

These people want to order a dozen gross of the Songs about Farts book.

 

[MIflyer]

Another fine installation from the Assassination Bureau Plumbing and Electrical Company

 

[Greg Boeser]

Don't worry. See the little green wire? Grounded. Totally safe.

 

[Marcel]

 

[Wurger]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[MiTasol]

 

[syscom3]

"Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner, Orton, arrived last week for the pre-Christmas check ride.
In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put Santa's flying skills to the test.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and even Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload.
Finally, they were ready for the check ride. Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for!?" asked Santa incredulously. The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time," as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, "but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."

 

[Gnomey]

 

[GTX]

View attachment 741060

I just had 2wks leave and turned my phone for the entire time...

 

[GTX]

Husband: "How was the drive home today?"

Wife: "It was a bit scary; I almost missed the exit."

I can hear the truck drivers swearing from here

 

[GTX]

Is Swedish Fish a code word for something?

View attachment 743381

Perhaps in relation to...


View: https://youtu.be/T8XeDvKqI4E?si=X43_0_QDZsNHkc3q