Wildcat
Major
Jewelry eh, so thats the trick!
Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)
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Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
Love This Comeback (I got this from an email)
One of my sons serves in the military. He is stationed stateside, here in California . He called me yesterday to let me know how warm and welcoming people were to him and his troops everywhere they go. He told me how people shake their hands and thank them for being willing to serve and fight, not only for our own freedoms but so that others may have them too.
Then he told me about an incident in the grocery store he stopped at yesterday on his way home from the base. He said that several people were in the line ahead of him, including a woman dressed in a burkha. He said when she got to the cashier, she made a loud remark about the U.S. Flag lapel pin the cashier wore on her smock. The cashier reached up and touched the pin and said, 'Yes, I always wear it proudly, because I am an American.'
The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.
Then, a Gentleman standing behind my son stepped forward, putting his arm around my son's shoulders and nodding towards my son, said in a calm and gentle voice to the Iraqi woman: "Lady, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have fought and died so that YOU could stand here, in MY country and accuse a check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen. It is my belief that had you been this outspoken in YOUR own country, we wouldn't need to be there today. But, hey, if you have now learned how to speak out so loudly and clearly, I'll gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to Iraq , so you can straighten out the Mess in YOUR country, that you are obviously here in MY country to avoid."
Everyone within hearing distance cheered!
One of my sons serves in the military. He is stationed stateside, here in California . He called me yesterday to let me know how warm and welcoming people were to him and his troops everywhere they go. He told me how people shake their hands and thank them for being willing to serve and fight, not only for our own freedoms but so that others may have them too.
Then he told me about an incident in the grocery store he stopped at yesterday on his way home from the base. He said that several people were in the line ahead of him, including a woman dressed in a burkha. He said when she got to the cashier, she made a loud remark about the U.S. Flag lapel pin the cashier wore on her smock. The cashier reached up and touched the pin and said, 'Yes, I always wear it proudly, because I am an American.'
The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.
Then, a Gentleman standing behind my son stepped forward, putting his arm around my son's shoulders and nodding towards my son, said in a calm and gentle voice to the Iraqi woman: "Lady, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have fought and died so that YOU could stand here, in MY country and accuse a check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen. It is my belief that had you been this outspoken in YOUR own country, we wouldn't need to be there today. But, hey, if you have now learned how to speak out so loudly and clearly, I'll gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to Iraq , so you can straighten out the Mess in YOUR country, that you are obviously here in MY country to avoid."
Everyone within hearing distance cheered!
wilbur1
Tech Sergeant
Thats a great one nj
Top stuff NJ!
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- #585
A tourist walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a government fire officer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll take a 6114 monkey, please."
The man nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the owner, saying, "That'll be $1,000." The owner paid and left with the monkey.
Surprised, the tourist went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that 6114 fire line monkey, he can cut line, Swat flames, lay hose, spray water, cut trees with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money."
The tourist spotted a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive--$10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one is a "helitack" monkey; it can marshal helicopters, brief passengers, hook up buckets, complete weight and balance forms, and load aircraft. A very useful monkey indeed," replied the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag read, "$50,000". The shocked tourist exclaimed, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world could it do?"
"Well, I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer and play with his dick, but his papers say he's a Helicopter Pilot!"
The man nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the owner, saying, "That'll be $1,000." The owner paid and left with the monkey.
Surprised, the tourist went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that 6114 fire line monkey, he can cut line, Swat flames, lay hose, spray water, cut trees with no back talk or complaints. It's well worth the money."
The tourist spotted a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive--$10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one is a "helitack" monkey; it can marshal helicopters, brief passengers, hook up buckets, complete weight and balance forms, and load aircraft. A very useful monkey indeed," replied the shopkeeper.
The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a cage. The price tag read, "$50,000". The shocked tourist exclaimed, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world could it do?"
"Well, I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer and play with his dick, but his papers say he's a Helicopter Pilot!"
Konigstiger205
Staff Sergeant
Matt308
Glock Perfection
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with
four young
mothers and their small children....
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with
eating.?
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with
money.?
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol.
This too
manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her
little boy
by the hand and whispers.
"Come on, Dick, we're leaving."
four young
mothers and their small children....
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with
eating.?
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with
money.?
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol.
This too
manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her
little boy
by the hand and whispers.
"Come on, Dick, we're leaving."
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
Wildcat
Major
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
hey, cool NJ...
Matt308
Glock Perfection
Great...
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- #598
Matt308
Glock Perfection
Friggin' excellent Matt...
