Wildcat
Major
Damn that made me laugh Matt!!
Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)
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wilbur1
Tech Sergeant
Thats pretty cool 
Konigstiger205
Staff Sergeant
That was hilarious
Matt308
Glock Perfection
Certainly took me off guard. Great commercial.
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
That was excellent! Can't wait for Erich's comment.
- Thread starter
- #606
A4K
Brigadier General
Couldn't read matt's ( bloody 'Fortinet' blocking everything again...) but Plan D...that was BRUTAL !!!!
Heinz
Captain
V2!
Thats great V2!
Matt308
Glock Perfection
Wait for it...
____________________________________________________
> Have you ever wondered where the Phrase "You Gotta Be Shittin' Me"
> came from?
>
> Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our
> Country way back when, George Washington was crossing the Delaware
> River with his troops.
>
> There were 33 [remember this number] in Washington's boat. It
> was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing
> them about.
>
> Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters [remember this name] and
> stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him
> to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.
>
> Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging
> the lantern back and forth, back and forth.
>
> Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Co rporal Peters
> and his lantern into the Delaware Washington and his troops searched
> for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail.
> All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their
> favorites.
>
> Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side,
> wet and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them that
> they must go on.
>
> Another hour later, one of his men said, "General, I see lights
> ahead."
>
> They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house. What
> they didn't know, was that this was a house of ill repute hidden in
> the forest to serve all who came.
>
> General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.
> The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman.
>
> A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.>
> Washington was the first to speak, "Madam, I am General George
> Washington and these are my men. We are tired, wet, exhausted, and
> desperately need warmth and comfort."
>
> Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a
> broad smile on her face, said, "Well, General, you have come to the
> right place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men
> do you have?"
>
> Washington replied, "Well, madam, there are 32 of us without Peters."
>
> And the Madam said, "You gotta be shittin' me"
____________________________________________________
> Have you ever wondered where the Phrase "You Gotta Be Shittin' Me"
> came from?
>
> Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our
> Country way back when, George Washington was crossing the Delaware
> River with his troops.
>
> There were 33 [remember this number] in Washington's boat. It
> was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing
> them about.
>
> Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters [remember this name] and
> stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him
> to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.
>
> Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging
> the lantern back and forth, back and forth.
>
> Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Co rporal Peters
> and his lantern into the Delaware Washington and his troops searched
> for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail.
> All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their
> favorites.
>
> Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side,
> wet and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them that
> they must go on.
>
> Another hour later, one of his men said, "General, I see lights
> ahead."
>
> They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house. What
> they didn't know, was that this was a house of ill repute hidden in
> the forest to serve all who came.
>
> General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.
> The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman.
>
> A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.>
> Washington was the first to speak, "Madam, I am General George
> Washington and these are my men. We are tired, wet, exhausted, and
> desperately need warmth and comfort."
>
> Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a
> broad smile on her face, said, "Well, General, you have come to the
> right place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men
> do you have?"
>
> Washington replied, "Well, madam, there are 32 of us without Peters."
>
> And the Madam said, "You gotta be shittin' me"
wilbur1
Tech Sergeant
Ya gotta be ****##n me thats freakin funny
A4K
Brigadier General
Nice one matt!
DOUGRD
Staff Sergeant
I just heard this one today.....A guy goes into a bank and stands in line for the next teller. He gets up to the counter, pulls a gun and robs to bank. As he starts to leave he thinks to himself "Hey I shouldn't leave any witnesses." He turns to the man behind him and asks "Did you see me rob this bank?" The guy says "Yeah I saw it." BAMMM! The robber shoots him in the head. The robber then turns to the next guy in line and asks "Did you see me rob this bank?" "Yes I saw everything." replied the second witness. Ka BOOOMMM!!! The robber shoots him in the head too. Then the robber turns to the next guy in line and asks "Did you see me rob this bank?" The third man replies, pointing at the woman behind him, "No, but my wife did!"
Excellent Guys...
A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he
noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50
feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
The man was so curious that he respectfully approached the man
walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a
bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My wife's."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog
turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he
noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50
feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
The man was so curious that he respectfully approached the man
walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a
bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My wife's."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog
turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
Vassili Zaitzev
Master Sergeant
LOL, nice one Wayne
Konigstiger205
Staff Sergeant
Good one Wayne
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
Wayne, thats a great one!
wilbur1
Tech Sergeant
Thats to funny
A4K
Brigadier General
Nice one Wayne!
