Are those in order Wayne?
Any order you like mate....result is still the same...
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Are those in order Wayne?
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes round the
corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Glock 9 mm, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look p oor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck's Answ er:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BAN! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click.(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ...
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?"
Wife: "You are not taking that to the taxidermist!"
AUSTRALIAN ROMANCE AT ITS BEST
A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text..............
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
Love you."
His text response......
"In the toilet having a cr*p, please advise."