Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)

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"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client.
"What's the bad news?"
The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the murder scene."
"Dammit!" cries the client. "What's the good news?"
"Well," the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol is down to 140."
 


Recently, a Russian scientist has discovered that human's eyes had a nerve junction between them and an a$$. To prove that he pushed a needle into his bottom and started sheding tears without delay. Then he inserted the needle into an eye and $hit himself right away.
 
An old one but always funny.

Two lions were walking side by side on the African savanna when one reached around an licked the butt of the other. The first lion jumped and turned around and said, "Did you just lick my butt?". "Why, yes, I did", stated the second lion. "Why did you do that?", said the first lion. The second lion stated, "Well, I had a lawyer for lunch and I was just trying to get the taste out of my mouth!".
 
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