Quotes and Jokes (5 Viewers)
- Thread starter v2
- Start date
Ad: This forum contains affiliate links to products on Amazon and eBay. More information in Terms and rules
Crimea_River
Marshal
I'm sorry but that's sick.
Cracking aerodynamics! 
Crimea_River
Marshal
Would love to see the landing
Will be some landing alright...
A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour residental zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over. The female police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde. She asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, "Don't be a smartass!, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
Crimea_River
Marshal
Q: What is the difference in sounds between a game of golf and sky diving?
A: In golf, you hear WHACK....."F!ck!". In skydiving, you hear "F!ck!"......WHACK.
Last edited:
A4K
Brigadier General
Guys...
In same vein as Andy's:
What is the difference between goats and fish?
Fish Muck around in Fountains, goats F*** around in Mountains...
In same vein as Andy's:
What is the difference between goats and fish?
Fish Muck around in Fountains, goats F*** around in Mountains...
michaelmaltby
Colonel
Paddy and Mick were walking along a street in London.
Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read...
"Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £3.00 each, Trousers £4.50 per pair".
Paddy said to his pal"Mick look at these prices!
We could buy a whole lot of those and when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune.
Now when we go in you stay quiet, okay? Let me do all da talking 'cause if they hear our accents, they might think we're thicko's from Ireland and try to screw us.
I'll put on me best English accent."
"Roight y'are Paddy, I'll keep me mout shut, so I will. You do all da business" said Mick.
They go in and Paddy said in a posh voice "Hello my good man. I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £3..00 each
and 50 pairs of trousers at £4.50 each.
And oy'll back up me truck ready to load 'em on, so I will."
The owner of the shop said quietly "You're from Ireland , aren't you?"
"Well yes" said a surprised Paddy. "What gave it away?"
The owner replied "This is a dry-cleaners."
Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. The sign read...
"Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £3.00 each, Trousers £4.50 per pair".
Paddy said to his pal"Mick look at these prices!
We could buy a whole lot of those and when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune.
Now when we go in you stay quiet, okay? Let me do all da talking 'cause if they hear our accents, they might think we're thicko's from Ireland and try to screw us.
I'll put on me best English accent."
"Roight y'are Paddy, I'll keep me mout shut, so I will. You do all da business" said Mick.
They go in and Paddy said in a posh voice "Hello my good man. I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £3..00 each
and 50 pairs of trousers at £4.50 each.
And oy'll back up me truck ready to load 'em on, so I will."
The owner of the shop said quietly "You're from Ireland , aren't you?"
"Well yes" said a surprised Paddy. "What gave it away?"
The owner replied "This is a dry-cleaners."
- Thread starter
- #7,920
