Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)

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A hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?"

The man says,
"Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately.
I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window."

The desk clerk says,
"I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter."

The man replies,
"Listen you idiot. The window won't open…. that's a maintenance matter."
 
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown
in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications,
which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0


In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as:
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as:
NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1


Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail. What can I do?


Signed, Desperate
Dear Desperate,


First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download
Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works
as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5


However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad
program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.


Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a
virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources.)


In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.


In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot
learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve
memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7
 

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