Quotes and Jokes
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vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
michaelmaltby
Colonel
What does the woman you are about to marry and a twister tornado have in common?
Both arrive wild and woolly .... and .... on departure,
.... both leave you asking:
Where's the house?
Where's the barn?
Where's the car?
Where's the dog?
Both arrive wild and woolly .... and .... on departure,
.... both leave you asking:
Where's the house?
Where's the barn?
Where's the car?
Where's the dog?
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fubar57
General
Crimea_River
Marshal
After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride
Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old Barbershop in Jersey to say hello
to his friends. Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wassa da treep?"
Luigi said, "Everyting wassa perfecto except for da train ride down."
"Whattayou mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.
"Well, we boarda da train at Granna Central Station. My beautiful
Virginia , she pack a bigga basket a food. She brought at da vino,
some nice cigars for me, and we were lookina forward to da trip, and
open uppa da luncha basket.
"The conductore comea by, wagga his finger at us anda say, 'no
eat in dissa car. Musta use a dining car..'
"So, me and my beautiful Virginia , we go to da dining car, eat a bigga
lunch and starta at open da bottle of a nice a vino! "Conductore walka
by again, wagga his finger and say, 'No drinka in dissa car! Musta use a
cluba car.'
So, we go to cluba car. While a drinkina da vino, I starta to lighta my
bigga cigar.
The conductore, he wagga is finger again and say, 'No asmokina dissa
car. Musta go to a smokina car .
We go to a smokina car and I smoke a my biga cigar. Then my beautiful
Virginia and I, we go to a sleeper car anda go to bed. We just about to
go "boombada boombada" and the conductore, he walka through da hallway
shouting at a top of hissa voice....
" 'Nofolka Virginia ! Nofolka Virginia !'
Nexta time, I'ma just gonna taka da bus."
Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old Barbershop in Jersey to say hello
to his friends. Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wassa da treep?"
Luigi said, "Everyting wassa perfecto except for da train ride down."
"Whattayou mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.
"Well, we boarda da train at Granna Central Station. My beautiful
Virginia , she pack a bigga basket a food. She brought at da vino,
some nice cigars for me, and we were lookina forward to da trip, and
open uppa da luncha basket.
"The conductore comea by, wagga his finger at us anda say, 'no
eat in dissa car. Musta use a dining car..'
"So, me and my beautiful Virginia , we go to da dining car, eat a bigga
lunch and starta at open da bottle of a nice a vino! "Conductore walka
by again, wagga his finger and say, 'No drinka in dissa car! Musta use a
cluba car.'
So, we go to cluba car. While a drinkina da vino, I starta to lighta my
bigga cigar.
The conductore, he wagga is finger again and say, 'No asmokina dissa
car. Musta go to a smokina car .
We go to a smokina car and I smoke a my biga cigar. Then my beautiful
Virginia and I, we go to a sleeper car anda go to bed. We just about to
go "boombada boombada" and the conductore, he walka through da hallway
shouting at a top of hissa voice....
" 'Nofolka Virginia ! Nofolka Virginia !'
Nexta time, I'ma just gonna taka da bus."
A4K
Brigadier General
My wife accused me of being a transvestite, so I packed her clothes and left.
