Quotes and Jokes (4 Viewers)
- Thread starter v2
- Start date
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Catch22
Major
Haha nice!
Matt308
Glock Perfection
Okay. Sorry for my absence...
_______________________________
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator. As he looks up, he sees
this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little white guy staring at him, so he looked down at the little white guy and said: "7
feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch wiener, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right
testicle, Turner Brown."
The white man faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says,
What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to
me?
The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give
you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I
weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch wiener, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name isTurner Brown."
The small guy says, "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said,
"Turn around !!!"
_______________________________
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator. As he looks up, he sees
this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little white guy staring at him, so he looked down at the little white guy and said: "7
feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch wiener, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right
testicle, Turner Brown."
The white man faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says,
What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to
me?
The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give
you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I
weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch wiener, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name isTurner Brown."
The small guy says, "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said,
"Turn around !!!"
Vassili Zaitzev
Master Sergeant
Hahaha!
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
Matt308
Glock Perfection
Great!..
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Well! haven't had my chicken served like that before.....
One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of
the runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around,
and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8
crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it
all by yourself?" Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult
go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts.
Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."
the runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around,
and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8
crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it
all by yourself?" Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult
go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts.
Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."
- Thread starter
- #1,415
The Ribbon Solution
~~~~~~~~~~
A couple has a dog that snores, annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.
The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, and he will stop snoring. "Yeah right!" she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring the woman is amazed.
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly. The woman decides maybe the ribbon might work on him So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's testicles.
Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.
The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees the blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.
He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we were... or what we did... but, by God... We took FIRST and SECOND place.
~~~~~~~~~~
A couple has a dog that snores, annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.
The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, and he will stop snoring. "Yeah right!" she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring the woman is amazed.
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly. The woman decides maybe the ribbon might work on him So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's testicles.
Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.
The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees the blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.
He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we were... or what we did... but, by God... We took FIRST and SECOND place.
Airframes
Benevolens Magister
Nice one, V2!
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
lol
