Quotes and Jokes (2 Viewers)

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You probably have to be a Brit to get this one:

There are 3 types of casual conversation in the armed forces: Navy chat; Army gossip, and: RAF wittering.


I'll get my coat!


For the uninitiated, RAF Wittering is an airfield just north of Peterborough...AFAIK, this is the first time a military base has ever been the punchline for a joke (ok, calling it a "joke" may be stretching things a tad!).
 
An emergency room duty nurse saw a young woman with purple hair styled in a punk rocker Mohawk, with various and numerous tattoos, and strange clothes enter. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis. She was quickly scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff saw that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it was a tattoo that read, 'keep off the grass.' At the completion of of surgery, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing which said, "Sorry... had to mow the lawn."
 

What is Checkmate?!

You tell your wife that I saw a woman, she was like you!
Then the lady asks: was she beautiful?
This is where you can not say yes or no...
That is Checkmate
whatever you say, you're done for!!!
 

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