Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)

[vikingBerserker]

Yup, thats the expression I get as well.........................

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[ThomasP]

 

[ThomasP]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[davparlr]

View attachment 634146

Obviously the cat is an accomplished performer. Note how he is concentrating on sticking the landing.

 

[Snautzer01]

Obviously the cat is an accomplished performer. Note how he is concentrating on sticking the landing.

The cat is a p-39 minus nose armour.

 

[special ed]

An old news story:
Florida woman stops alligator attack with small .22 caliber pistol.
A woman walking along the edge of a pond near her house was discussing the property settlement and other issues with her soon to be ex-husband when a huge 14 foot alligator charged from the water towards her. "If I had not had my little .22 pistol with me, I would not be here. Just one shot to my estranged husband's kneecap and I could walk away."

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[buffnut453]

 

[Wurger]

 

[buffnut453]

It's funny how so many Formula 1 racing drivers are named after Scottish towns:

Stirling Moss

Lewis Hamilton

Eddie Irvine

Ayr town centre



I've already got my coat...

 

[Gnomey]

 

[japsubshunter]

A new young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment, he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady on who he was performing an exam suddenly burst out laughing, to further embarrass him. He looked up and sheepishly asked if he was tickling her. She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing, "No doctor but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Wiener'."

 

[ThomasP]

Kalahari early warning system.

 

[Wurger]

 

[ARTESH]

به دختره میگم شمارتو بده واسه نماز صبح بیدارت کنم... میگه شماره حسابمو میدم پول بریز تو کارتم پیامش میاد بیدار میشم!​

Once I told to a girl: "Give me your number, I'll call you for the morning pray!". She told: "Here is my credit card number! I'll wake up by Bank's SMS".

 

[Gnomey]

 

[special ed]

Warning!
Dad joke:
The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly said, "My family went to my grandad's farm and we saw his sheep. It was fascinating."
"That's good, but what I wanted was to use the word fascinate rather than fascinating"
Sally said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
"That was also good but I was wanting everyone to use the word fascinate."
Johnny raised his hand, but since she had been burned before by Johnny, she was reluctant, however seeing no way he could ruin the word, she called on him.
Johnny said, "My Aunt Carol has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight."