Airframes
Benevolens Magister
He He !!
Quotes and Jokes
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RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
If World War One was a bar Fight...
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.
Matt308
Glock Perfection
LMFAO!! I'm still guffawing over that one. I would send it to others, without historical context nobody would get it!
FANfrickingTASTIC!!!
FANfrickingTASTIC!!!
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
ROFLMAO NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Still love this line! ROTFLMBO!! Heh...Matt...I emailed this to a couple of friends, one didn't have a clue what was happening, even though I specifically said it was a WWI outline!
Matt308
Glock Perfection
Maestro
Master Sergeant
joining in the chorus,
Airframes
Benevolens Magister
Brilliant! Gary, you owe me a new pair of trousers - I seem to have got these ones wet .........
BikerBabe
Senior Master Sergeant
Excellent, Gary! 
I translated this lil' piece o' text that I made for the danish beemer club:
You know you're a BMW enthusiast:
- if your wife has to ask you to move the BMW R23 in the living room, so that she can watch "Oprah".
- if you talked your BMW friends into coming along, so that you can bring the huge tent, the laptop, the folding chairs and ditto table, plus the mini tv, in the sidecars.
- if you own more than 20 black t-shirts with the BMW Motorcycle Club Logo print.
- if your best shoes are good, sturdy biker boots.
- if you applied for and got the extra loan to pay for the last service check-up.
- if you buy your 3-year-old niece a BMW Club tee.
- if you're only sunburnt on a visor-shaped area around your eyes.
- if your idea of real art is a photo of your BMW R1150GS parked somewhere in Costa Rica or North Africa.
- if you get your best sleep in a big rented hut with your wife, so that you've got room for the luggage, too.
- if you don't really care about good weather. What else have you got a full fairing for?
- if you think that God invented winter to test your riding skills.
- if you've cancelled your subscription of "Home Garden", because there weren't any motorcycle pics in the magazine.
- if you wake up in the middle of the night and worry about your bike.
- if you can recognize a beemer sound in the distance and be able to tell model/year, but still can't remember the name of your brother-in-law.
- if you can remember at least 5 cell phone numbers to the beemer club buddies, but can't remember your own telephone number.
- if your touring expenses exceeds the expenses to the mortgage.
- if you think it's pretty normal to have the front fork lying on the kitchen table.
- if you think that the oil stain on the garage floor is your Mercedes' way of keeping you from being able to afford new tires for the beemer.
- if you start your beemer in the garage and just sit there when the weather's bad.
- if you've got more photos of your beemer (with varying backgrounds) than of your children.
- if you get hit by a car and break your leg in three different places, but still ask the police officer if the beemer's okay.
- if you keep a safe in your garage just for some of the more expensive spare parts for the beemer.
- if you find out where the BMW parts dealers are located when going on holiday.
- if all the links in your browser are BMW-themed.
- and if all of your shelves are creaking from the weight of the various BMW club magazines, Haynes
manuals, Clymer manuals, and BMW motorcycle magazines and books.
8)
I translated this lil' piece o' text that I made for the danish beemer club:
You know you're a BMW enthusiast:
- if your wife has to ask you to move the BMW R23 in the living room, so that she can watch "Oprah".
- if you talked your BMW friends into coming along, so that you can bring the huge tent, the laptop, the folding chairs and ditto table, plus the mini tv, in the sidecars.
- if you own more than 20 black t-shirts with the BMW Motorcycle Club Logo print.
- if your best shoes are good, sturdy biker boots.
- if you applied for and got the extra loan to pay for the last service check-up.
- if you buy your 3-year-old niece a BMW Club tee.
- if you're only sunburnt on a visor-shaped area around your eyes.
- if your idea of real art is a photo of your BMW R1150GS parked somewhere in Costa Rica or North Africa.
- if you get your best sleep in a big rented hut with your wife, so that you've got room for the luggage, too.
- if you don't really care about good weather. What else have you got a full fairing for?
- if you think that God invented winter to test your riding skills.
- if you've cancelled your subscription of "Home Garden", because there weren't any motorcycle pics in the magazine.
- if you wake up in the middle of the night and worry about your bike.
- if you can recognize a beemer sound in the distance and be able to tell model/year, but still can't remember the name of your brother-in-law.
- if you can remember at least 5 cell phone numbers to the beemer club buddies, but can't remember your own telephone number.
- if your touring expenses exceeds the expenses to the mortgage.
- if you think it's pretty normal to have the front fork lying on the kitchen table.
- if you think that the oil stain on the garage floor is your Mercedes' way of keeping you from being able to afford new tires for the beemer.
- if you start your beemer in the garage and just sit there when the weather's bad.
- if you've got more photos of your beemer (with varying backgrounds) than of your children.
- if you get hit by a car and break your leg in three different places, but still ask the police officer if the beemer's okay.
- if you keep a safe in your garage just for some of the more expensive spare parts for the beemer.
- if you find out where the BMW parts dealers are located when going on holiday.
- if all the links in your browser are BMW-themed.
- and if all of your shelves are creaking from the weight of the various BMW club magazines, Haynes
manuals, Clymer manuals, and BMW motorcycle magazines and books.
8)
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
It was funny the first two times, BB....
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
LMAO
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
JohnAnthony
Senior Airman
- 340
- Jul 26, 2010
Subject: What A Real Woman Does
A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad
day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live
without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his
most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man
in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy,
seductive, and invincible........
No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of beer.
That's what beer does....
Never mind....
A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad
day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live
without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his
most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man
in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy,
seductive, and invincible........
No wait... sorry... I'm thinking of beer.
That's what beer does....
Never mind....
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
NICE!
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
ROTFLMBO!!! You've met my wife, I see...
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