What British weapon represents Britain

[buffnut453]

A weapon to represent Britain? How about Nora Batty? Here she is, armed, dangerous and replete with wrinkled stockings:

 

[pbehn]

Brains and beauty.

 

[Robert Porter]

While funny, that list is all too true. From experience working at Glaxo, a British company, when we were on conference calls with the head office for anything important we always stated very plainly our understanding of what was said back to the person saying it. While this usually seriously annoyed the British folks on the call it ended up saving a lot of time and effort otherwise wasted by misunderstandings. Brits tend to be masters of sarcasm and understatement which does not translate well especially without benefit of body language. And I am personally tone deaf when it comes to sarcasm. If you say something to me in a work setting I take it very literally and if it is not what you actually meant then learn to speak plainly.

 

[Snautzer01]

Bletchley Park, secret, brilliant, ingenious and the most devastating weapon used in the war. If you have read the Ultra messages you know what they were capable of.

 

[stona]

Brits tend to be masters of sarcasm and understatement which does not translate well especially without benefit of body language.

As when British Brigadier Tom Brodie reported to the US General Robert Soule that "things are a bit sticky, sir," when he meant that he was being attacked by 10,000 Chinese at the Imjin River?
Cheers
Steve

 

[pbehn]

While funny, that list is all too true. From experience working at Glaxo, a British company, when we were on conference calls with the head office for anything important we always stated very plainly our understanding of what was said back to the person saying it. While this usually seriously annoyed the British folks on the call it ended up saving a lot of time and effort otherwise wasted by misunderstandings. Brits tend to be masters of sarcasm and understatement which does not translate well especially without benefit of body language. And I am personally tone deaf when it comes to sarcasm. If you say something to me in a work setting I take it very literally and if it is not what you actually meant then learn to speak plainly.

I worked for years with many nationalities, it is actually just part of the language and discussions. An American in a high position in a company can be as like nailing a blancmange to a wall as any British national when it is required. Perhaps the most difficult were the Japanese and Chinese who for cultural reasons cannot address a client or boss in the negative so every question is replied with "Yes", however "Yes" sometimes just means they have heard the question. Its all part of life's rich pageant, if you think English can be evasive learn French and then listen to a French politician.

 

[The Basket]

Music?
Listening to joy Division love will tear us apart.
Seems our only weapon now is nostalgia

 

[pbehn]

Music?
Listening to joy Division love will tear us apart.
Seems our only weapon now is nostalgia

It is hard to say how influential music is but there is no doubt visiting Japan and China that the Beatles and the Carpenters had an effect, I couldnt count the number of people I met who learned English through an interest in music lyrics from all over the world, funniest was a Frenchman with a collection of 2000 vinyl singles and LPs most of which were punk rock, the collection was worth a fortune.

 

[Gnomey]

Iconically you would say the Spitfire. But then in the background you've got the red coats, Bletchley Park etc. A hard choice to pick just one that's for sure.

 

[The Basket]

When I was in Spain for a few months plenty of Spanish said Beatles huge influence and even saw a Beatles poster in the post office. To learn English to understand lyrics is fine by me.

Liverpool certainly does a good trade in Beatles nostalgia.

Cultural bombardment by the English language certainly has an effect. Although the Sex Pistols only did one album so how your French friend has thousands of punk albums is amazing! I would wager most English speakers wouldn't have a Foriegn language album.

 

[The Basket]

To be honest I would love to fire a SMLE. It so much part of my heritage and so much part of my history. That's a possibility but flying a Spitfire or meeting John Lennon less so.
Although I probably prefer a P14 more!

 

[Robert Porter]

I worked for years with many nationalities, it is actually just part of the language and discussions. An American in a high position in a company can be as like nailing a blancmange to a wall as any British national when it is required. Perhaps the most difficult were the Japanese and Chinese who for cultural reasons cannot address a client or boss in the negative so every question is replied with "Yes", however "Yes" sometimes just means they have heard the question. Its all part of life's rich pageant, if you think English can be evasive learn French and then listen to a French politician.

Oh agreed! On all accounts. I too have worked with folks from all over. Including Japan, and my Daughter in Law is from Turkey to boot. So I do understand. Have to say though when talking to people from anywhere except the UK we all tend to agree they tend to be the most difficult to deal with. But not all folks from the UK, specifically those in mid level and upper management. Their military tends to be easy to work with and pragmatic as most military folks are. And the rank and file are all fine to deal with. But as my wife describes them the "Toffee Noses" are pretty much useless.

 

[pbehn]

Maybe it depends where you live, for African despots it seems to have been the bagpipes and brass bands, all their armies had them.

 

[stona]

Maybe it depends where you live, for African despots it seems to have been the bagpipes and brass bands, all their armies had them.

For European dictators the goose step was quite popular.

George Orwell once wrote words to the effect that an army can only goose step in a country where the population is frightened to laugh at it

Cheers

Steve

 

[pbehn]

For European dictators the goose step was quite popular.

George Orwell once wrote words to the effect that an army can only goose step in a country where the population is frightened to laugh at it

Strangely, the Germans gave it up before the war ended while the Spanish and many other nations still have it for ceremonial occasions.

 

[herman1rg]

To be honest I would love to fire a SMLE. It so much part of my heritage and so much part of my history. That's a possibility but flying a Spitfire or meeting John Lennon less so.
Although I probably prefer a P14 more!

I was in the Air Training Corps in the late 1970's early 1980's and we regularly did rifle shooting and I was lucky enough to shoot an SMLE MKIV 0.303 and achieved marksmanship badges, I now own a deactivated one.

 

[The Basket]

Fired 50 rounds through a LSW.
Couldn't go full auto as the switch was stuck.
Wouldn't take it to barn dance never mind a war.

 

[Airframes]

Thr SMLE, Enfiled No4, and the P14 , are all excellent weapons, and easy to use and fire, as was the L1A1 SLR, a weapon that ensured the target stayed shot !
The current 'standard' British Army small arms (specialist weapons excluded) are about as useful as t*ts on a fish !

 

[Graeme]

What British weapon represents Britain

I was thinking along this line. But maybe he was a loose cannon?

 

[Elmas]

But, today I'm afraid...
Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."

Nelson: "Hold on, this isn't what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry Sir?"

Nelson (reading aloud): " England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledygook is this for God's sake?"

Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting " England " past the censors, lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments."

Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle."

Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."

Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it full speed ahead."

Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."

Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest, please."

Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."


Nelson: "What?"

Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until proper scaffolding can be erected."

Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."


Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral."

Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier- free environment for the differently abled."

Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."

Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under- represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"

Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."


Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"


Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There are a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."

Nelson: "We're not?"

Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."

Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity coordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."

Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King."

Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"

Nelson: "Don't tell me - Health and Safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."

Nelson: "What about sodomy?"

Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."

Nelson: "In that case................... Kiss me, Hardy."