Your Funny, Humorous or Incredible Military Stories

The incident l am about to relate was not only the funniest thing l saw while in the RAF, but was also one of the funniest thing l EVER experienced. Let me set the scene.

RAF Brize Norton in the late 1960's. I worked as a airframe fitter on the VC-10 / Belfast flight line. These were the days when Great Britain still had many overseas commitments, and personnel and families were flown out on a daily basis on military duty.

During the aircraft see off the airframe man ( me in this case ) was the guy on the headset connected to the flight crew on the flight deck. The engine tech manned the external engine start trolley, The electrician manned the fire extinguisher, and the instrument trades helped in whatever task they were required on.

The air movements buses arrived with the 150 passenger ready to be loaded aboard the aircraft. They were just being ushered out the buses and escorted to the boarding steps when the flight engineer called " Air " which meant start the air start trolley, and prepare to air start the four engines.

I signaled the correct sign to the engine tech on the Hamson air start trolley. He opened the throttle on the start trolley diesel engine then opened the air transfer valve, feeding air to the aircraft. As soon as he did that all hell broke loose. The hose connecting the trolley to the belly of the aircraft which was about 9 inches in diameter snapped of it's connection clamp, and with an unbelievable noise of rushing air, started to hammer against the side of the aircraft. The noise was ear splitting.

The next sequence of events happened almost at once. The air movement staff left their passenger in an instant, and to a man hide behind the buses, leaving the bewildered passenger stranded on the entry steps. The engine tech was jumping up and down, half trying to escape this wild gyrating hose, and half trying to catch and secure the said hose. The electrician, and the instrument lads took to their heels and ran towards the flight line office, no doubt in a state of panic.

The flight engineer was screaming through my headset wanting to know what the @#$% was going on out there. And yours truly, well l could not do anything for laughing. I have never forgotten that scene, it was in no way dangerous, but was sure one of the funniest things l ever saw.

priceless!

The Yards were having a food supply problem because of all the rats around the villages. In a true feat of intellect we offered a bounty on rats in an attempt to reduce the rat population. We offered the kids 5 Piasters ($.01) per dead rat. At first the dead rats trickled in 2 or 3 at a time, after about a week the count was 4 - 5. Every week the count went up until after a month or so we were seeing 30 to 40 or more rats per day yet the rat population around the villages did not seem to be going down. Puzzled we asked one of the Headmen. He laughed and took us into the jungle beyond the village where the villagers had set up a rat breeding farm. if the rich crazy americans wanted rats they were going to supply us

Jim:

Mike: Gotta respect ingenuity!!

LMAO, nice fellas!

We also did not realize at the time, was that rats were a dietary staple for the Yards. Americans were Dinky-Dau to most Vietnamese

My first South-east Asia post was Nakhon Phanom, Thailand. Most of my time was spent in the bomb dump assembling bombs or taking them to the flight line.
We were driving down thru the dump when we saw this big, BIG, Tarantula. Like about 1 foot across. We messed around with it till we got it into a empty 20mm ammo can. Took it down to the break area at lunch time.
Everybody ohhed and ahhed about it. When we were thru looking the Thai girl who sold cokes at the bomb dump gate asked us if she could have it. Sure, why not?
She held it by one of it's thick legs, and with a borrowed lighter set fire to the fuzz on it's body. Then she pulled it's legs off and ate the body. Just popped the whole body in her mouth!!!
She was a real beauty, guys had always been flirting with her. From that day on nobody looked at her the same way again.

I started reading this thread yesterday as a way to pass some time. I was hooked! These stories are incredible! Thanks for the riveting reading gentlemen.

Spending a month in Vung Tau,,former french resort city on the beach,,scenery ,,resturants,,downtown,,clubs girls,,in country R And R,,,as a short timer detailed to ammo reloads on the sirfield but with time off ,,I was selected for a rotating troop pickup downtown before the curfew,,at 10,,parking on a corner downtown ,,picking up loads of partying infantry men with a few hours off ,,if they werent engaged for the night,,no baby san for me those nights either but thats another story.,returning along the coast road to the airfield the nco in charge told me to pull over,,in back in the pile of bodies were a few blue dungarees,,sailors from one of the ships docked at the port,,we dumped ours in the sand along the tents at the airfield ,did a 180 and went back to the docks,,our friends in blue never woke up as we drove ship to ship much like the scene in mr roberts,,asking if they were theirs,,depositing them safely at the gangways,,go navy

LMAO

I was in Bosnia and we were out at a Mountain Range outpost that we took over and set up for an aerial gunnery with the Apaches. Our Platoon Sergeant had a strange habit of telling us when he was heading to the latrine. Well, The latrine happened to be a porta potty sitting on the flight line next to our F.A.R.P. (Forward Area Refueling Point) So, he went and we decided to take a Cargo Strap and went around and around and around the porta potty and ratchet it down securely.

About the time he was trying to get out. The F.A.R.P had a customer. Thats right folks, an apache came in, flared back and all that rotor wash was directed on that porta potty. It blew over on the door side and he was stuck there. He was a little blue in the face. We were out in the middle of nowhere. He waqs just lucky that it wasn't the only porta potty around. Needles to say he never told us again whenever he went to the latrine!

Heard about stuff like that happening on construction sites, only instead of prop wash the PP got picked up with a crane! (Which is one reason why I never used them!)

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I have always wondered about this one............... is this like picking up the Admiral, or the Lt. General out of his boots,
and then setting him, or her down in another new pair ..................



Mike
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While deployed, someone (later identified as my Lt) decided to fill my combat boots up to the brim with foot powder while I was out conducting PT (physical training). Everyone was laughing about it. Well, I had to pay the person back so when I found out who it was I went to the little PX and looked around for something to get even with. Since we had females in the camp, I found a bottle of NARE. I waited until the LT left the tent, and emptied his bottle of shampoo, replacing it with the contents of the bottle of Nare.... we heard the blood curdling screams come from the shower later on. If you are unaware of what NARE does. It removes body hair chemically. Lets Just say noone ever messed with me again on that deployment!!

Dam dude, that's hardcore!