Quotes and Jokes (4 Viewers)
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Lucky13
Forum Mascot
I'm with you Lucky!
How to correctly hold on in a moving train.....
(We're talking about the old guy by the door!)
TO
Moving train? Old man? Door?
Airframes
Benevolens Magister
Talk about chewing cloth !!!
Maestro
Master Sergeant
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Dang. Lucky pole!
MY Mom is a scream....when I asked her what she was doing to her chiming clock, the conversation went thus ..
ME..."Why have you gotten the clock in bits and pieces Mom?"
MOM.."Why becasue the chiming is all wrong "
ME..."What do you mean , its all wrong ?"
MOM...." The chimes are supposed to chime every quarter hour and they dont!"
ME...." SO..what happens now ?"
MOM .. " They are Chiming EROTICALLY !!!"
I just could not stop giggling ....
HOUSTON
ME..."Why have you gotten the clock in bits and pieces Mom?"
MOM.."Why becasue the chiming is all wrong "
ME..."What do you mean , its all wrong ?"
MOM...." The chimes are supposed to chime every quarter hour and they dont!"
ME...." SO..what happens now ?"
MOM .. " They are Chiming EROTICALLY !!!"
I just could not stop giggling ....
HOUSTON
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I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.So, I said, "Implants?" She hit me.
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Maestro
Master Sergeant
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower
when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one
should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself
up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give
you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a
moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a
few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited
about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the
shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars he
owes me?"
when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one
should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself
up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give
you 800 dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a
moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a
few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited
about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the
shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars he
owes me?"
Maestro
Master Sergeant
ccheese
Member In Perpetuity
Charles
Maestro
Master Sergeant
This just remembered me of an old joke...
A man gets back from work one day, his wife tells him : "Honey, the shelf fell from the wall, could you repair it ?"
The husband looks at his wife and says : "I'm no carpenter, for God sake !"
The following day, the man gets back from work again and his wife says : "Honey, the sink is leaking... Could you fix it please ?"
To which he answer : "I'm no plumber, for God sake !"
The next day, he comes back from work again to find his wife sitting on the couch.
"Oh, honey !" she says, "Forget about the repairs... Bob, our neighbor, came here today and offered to repair the shelf and fix the sink. I wanted to thank him, so he told me to either make a pie for him or have sex with him..."
"Oh," says the husband "so what kind of pie did you make ?"
"A pie ? I'm no cook, for God sake !"
A man gets back from work one day, his wife tells him : "Honey, the shelf fell from the wall, could you repair it ?"
The husband looks at his wife and says : "I'm no carpenter, for God sake !"
The following day, the man gets back from work again and his wife says : "Honey, the sink is leaking... Could you fix it please ?"
To which he answer : "I'm no plumber, for God sake !"
The next day, he comes back from work again to find his wife sitting on the couch.
"Oh, honey !" she says, "Forget about the repairs... Bob, our neighbor, came here today and offered to repair the shelf and fix the sink. I wanted to thank him, so he told me to either make a pie for him or have sex with him..."
"Oh," says the husband "so what kind of pie did you make ?"
"A pie ? I'm no cook, for God sake !"
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
Maestro
Master Sergeant
What about Robin Williams' thoughts about the A-bomb ?
**Warning : Coarse language.**
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAo-EEn7f44
**Warning : Coarse language.**
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAo-EEn7f44
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Airframes
Benevolens Magister
Great! And the rest of them too!
