Got to love Robin Williams.
Quotes and Jokes (2 Viewers)
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Got to love Robin Williams.
wheelsup_cavu
1st Sergeant
A blonde gets home early...
A blonde wife gets home from work early hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed,
sweating and panting. 'What's up?' she asks.
'I think I'm having a heart attack,'- cries the husband..
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone,
but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up
And says,"Mommy Mommy Aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe she has no clothes on"
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband..
She rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough,
there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
'You rotten witch!', she screams.
'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around
naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!'
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Wheels
A blonde wife gets home from work early hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed,
sweating and panting. 'What's up?' she asks.
'I think I'm having a heart attack,'- cries the husband..
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone,
but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up
And says,"Mommy Mommy Aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe she has no clothes on"
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband..
She rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough,
there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
'You rotten witch!', she screams.
'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around
naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!'
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Wheels
- Thread starter
- #3,323
As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts.
After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.
"America," the husband replied.
Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. "She's not from the States."
"Yes I am." said the wife.
He looked at her and asked, "Is he your husband?"
"Yes." she replied.
Turning to the husband, he offered.... "I'll give you 100 camels for her." The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, "she's not for sale."
After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."
After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from.
"America," the husband replied.
Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. "She's not from the States."
"Yes I am." said the wife.
He looked at her and asked, "Is he your husband?"
"Yes." she replied.
Turning to the husband, he offered.... "I'll give you 100 camels for her." The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, "she's not for sale."
After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
T Bolt
Colonel
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
LMAO!
A man answers a job ad in the newspaper and is called to an agency in London to find out what it involves. "Well'," says the agent, "Our client runs a travelling bikini roadshow of 20 model girls. They need a man to generally look after the girls when
they travel to glamour spots all over the world. You'd also have to help massage oil into their bodies before the show. They always stay in 5-star hotels, of course, but sometimes there's a requirement for you to share a room with them. Oh,yes, salary's about £100,000 per year and you get 8 weeks paid holiday".
"Sounds ok" said the man "What happens next?"
"Well, the interviews are on Monday, can you get to Glasgow by then?"
"Why Glasgow,? I thought they'd be here in London"
"They are, that's where the queue ends!"
they travel to glamour spots all over the world. You'd also have to help massage oil into their bodies before the show. They always stay in 5-star hotels, of course, but sometimes there's a requirement for you to share a room with them. Oh,yes, salary's about £100,000 per year and you get 8 weeks paid holiday".
"Sounds ok" said the man "What happens next?"
"Well, the interviews are on Monday, can you get to Glasgow by then?"
"Why Glasgow,? I thought they'd be here in London"
"They are, that's where the queue ends!"
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
B-17engineer
Colonel
Maestro
Master Sergeant
There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
ROFLMAO!
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
