Excellent! :d
Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)
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Crimea_River
Marshal
My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
at6
1st Sergeant
It was approaching winter and three birds were sitting and talking. The first bird said"My instincts tell me to go Southwest." The second bird said "My instincts tell me to go Southeast." The third bird said "My end stinks and it tells me nothing."
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
and I laughed at that one........
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I had a manager in the 1970s called "Wing Commander Brown" he made a business trip to Germany. When the Germans asked if he had been to Germany before he said yes he had been to Dusseldorf but it was at 20,000ft in a Lancaster. Oh very funny! except all the English knew he wasnt in RAF Bomber command he was in the observer corps. Its a clever guy who manages to make everyone in the room think you are a complete c@nt.
He was formally warned not to give fake information on his wartime service when he got back.
I liked the post though V2
Two middle-aged businessmen were relaxing by the pool in a plush Miami Beach resort hotel. The first one said, "The best thing that happened to me was when my business was destroyed by fire. I collected the fire insurance, and here I am." The second one said, "The best thing that happened to me was when my business was destroyed by flood. I collected the flood insurance, and here I am." The first one said, "How did you start a flood?"
michaelmaltby
Colonel
So, I was walking through the mall in Chicago and I saw that there was a "Muslim Book Store." I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in.
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me.
I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?"
The clerk said, "Fxxk off - Get out and Stay out!"
I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me.
I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?"
The clerk said, "Fxxk off - Get out and Stay out!"
I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"
Crimea_River
Marshal
Good one!
