An air-traffic control tower suddenly lost communication
with a small twin engine aircraft.
A moment later the tower's land-line rang
and was answered by one of the employees.
The passenger who was riding with the pilot
who lost communications was on a cellular phone
and yelled - "Mayday, mayday - - - the pilot has
just had an fatal heart attack, so I grabbed
his cell phone out of his pocket."
He continued..."Luckily, the pilot had told me,
before we took off, that he had the tower on his
speed dial memory.
I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and
traveling at 180 mph. Mayday, mayday!"
The employee in the tower had put him on speaker phone immediately...
"Calm down, we acknowledge you and we'll
guide you down after a few questions...
The first thing is not to panic, remain calm!"
Then, he began his series of questions:
Tower : "How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 18,000 feet
on the Altimeter dial in front of me."
Tower : "Okay, that's good, remain calm.
How do you know you're traveling at 180 mph?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 180 mph on
the Airspeed dial in front of me."
Tower: Okay, this is great so far, but it's heavily overcast,
so how do you know you're flying upside down?"
Aircraft: The sh!t in my pants is running out of my shirt collar!