Quotes and Jokes (6 Viewers)
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vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
A wife complains to her husband: "Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can't you do the same?"
The husband: "Are you mad? I barely know that woman!
The husband: "Are you mad? I barely know that woman!
Crimea_River
Marshal
In Canada, our government, in its eternal wisdom, will by the end of this summer have passed two laws. They are:
1. Legalized gay marriage
2. Legalized marijuana
Legalizing gay marriage and marijuana at the same time now makes perfect Biblical sense. Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned."
Apparently we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
1. Legalized gay marriage
2. Legalized marijuana
Legalizing gay marriage and marijuana at the same time now makes perfect Biblical sense. Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned."
Apparently we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
A 78 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar. Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her.
After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone:
"I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100, and there's another condition".
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.
"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.
He then whips out his wallet and puts 10 $10 bills in her outstretched hand.
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly:
"Paint my house."
After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone:
"I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100, and there's another condition".
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.
"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.
He then whips out his wallet and puts 10 $10 bills in her outstretched hand.
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly:
"Paint my house."
Crimea_River
Marshal
Hansie Bloeckmann
Senior Airman
Almost makes me think those tracks were made by Mr. Richard Stepper, ESQ.
Hansie Bloeckmann
Senior Airman
Thanks for the "smile" emojie-- Dick Stepper- senior partner in the Law Firm: Dewey, Cheatum and Howe LLC
