Quotes and Jokes (7 Viewers)

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In Canada, our government, in its eternal wisdom, will by the end of this summer have passed two laws. They are:

1. Legalized gay marriage

2. Legalized marijuana

Legalizing gay marriage and marijuana at the same time now makes perfect Biblical sense. Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned."

Apparently we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
 
A 78 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar. Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her.

After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.

Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone:

"I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100, and there's another condition".

Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is.

"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.

He then whips out his wallet and puts 10 $10 bills in her outstretched hand.

He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly:

"Paint my house."
 

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