Your Funny, Humorous or Incredible Military Stories

[Matt308]

Sorry, no camera with me back then. Besides, she wasn't very attractive, IIRC.

CD

Yeah, never fails. A fantasy of mine I keep pursuing to no avail.

 

[Captain Dunsel]

The place: Ramstein AB, Germany, 2cnd Weather Wing Headquarters
The time: 1991

I was a senior Captain by then, working in a shop that was being drawn down. Morale was pretty bad in our branch, which consisted of about 6 captains and one major.

Well, it was the major's birthday. So, since I like to cook, I told him I'd make him a sponge cake.

Came the day, we gathered around and I brought out a rectangular aluminum pan, chocolate frosting and all. After some good-natured jibes, the major took a knife and started to cut the cake.

Problem is, when he pushed down on the cake, the knife refused to cut beyond the frosting. Our Major, who was into body building, leaned onto the knife and really pushed down…but when he relaxed, the cake pushed back! He looked at me, totally puzzled. That's when I reminded him it was a SPONGE cake.

We have ignition! The light suddenly went on..

Him: "You mean.."

Me: "Yup, I used real sponges to make it!"

Him: "You %$*(*..."

The remainder of our conversation wasn't fit for publication on a family-oriented web site, but, he did have a sense of humor about it!

And yes, there was a second, real cake waiting in the next room!

CD

 

[Matt308]

Well done Cpt. Dunsel, well done.

 

[mkloby]

This one was told to me by the Communications Officer at
NAS Cecil field, back in the late 50's.

Back when the Blue Angels were still flying prop jobs, they
were going from one city to another to perform. The weather
was bad, with a low cloud cover. They were flying above the
clouds when they heard the pilot of a PBM calling a ground
station, saying he was lost.

The CO of the Blues thought they would have some fun. They
located the PBM a few miles away, got into an echelon formation,
but inverted and flew past the guy without saying anything.

The PBM driver saw them go by and thought he was the one that
was up-side-down. They watch him for quite awhile, trying to
turn that PBM over. It would get up on a wing, it would fall, and the
pilot would recover.

I never heard whether he got in turned over or not…..

Charles

I missed that story Charles - it was great! Poor PBM pilot. Trust the gyro!

 

[A4K]

Nice trick with the cake, Captain!

 

[pbfoot]

One of our intrepid NCO's left amessage for the Major saying the bank had called ref a bad deposit . The maj taking the number supplied by the NCO called the bank immediately P'off about this error . The number supplied by the NCO was for the sperm bank

 

[Matt308]

 

[cristian.hidalgo]

well my cusine hade sent a vidio of him in iraq last week and and well he hade gone in a houes and fuond two other troops being gay and dude that was helires and me in the other hand well i had gone to boot camp for futer u.s ARMY troops and we hade to go one a mission and i lied down to sleep and went i wooke up i was 3 feet under mude and when i got out the enemy had cout my men and the did not notice me and i shot ate them like crazy and got my men back we laft after that and i was aworded a medel for being stelthy and rescuing my men and following the mirine modow no man left behind . p.s if you read this send me a meesag of what you think

 

[Matt308]

Get off this $ucking thread you scumbag piece of $hit. You are not worthy to wipe the arse of any man from any country serving in his armed forces.

Ban this Effer Mods. Now!!!!

 

[Becca]

Wow..ok, I knew he was young..but sheesh. Cristian you'd better back it up, NOT a place to be making tool-like statements like that GROSSLY misspelled one you JUST pulled.

Wish I could help Matt, Les ran the boys to baseball.

 

[Matt308]

His time will come. And the mods are the least of his problems. I IM'd Dan. This asshat will amount to nothing in life. Its the bell-curve, Becca. Somebody has to stupid, poor, and clean the detritus of those who contribute to society. His punishment will last his lifetime. That you can be assured.

 

[Matt308]

And now I'm off to baseball too with my youngest, to watch tomorrow's heroes and successful citizens who will make a contribution to our future. Contrast that with CH and his utter disrespect. Effing punk. Here's what I am going to do with your "humorous post" and your private IM to me you dipwad SOB.

 

[evangilder]

if you read this send me a meesag of what you think

Here's what I think. You should be spending more time on your spelling homework and stop trying to BS here, little boy. That nonsense is not only incapable of passing the smell test for BS, it was silly and dumb. Learn to spell and use proper punctuation.

 

[Becca]

strolling along..just being blissfully ignorant and *POW* the law of natural selection jumps up and claims another worthy, soon-to-be Darwin Award winner.

 

[Matt308]

Here's what I think. You should be spending more time on your spelling homework and stop trying to BS here, little boy. That nonsense is not only incapable of passing the smell test for BS, it was silly and dumb. Learn to spell and use proper punctuation.

No ban... Okay...

 

[evangilder]

I don't think he'll be back. But if he does come back, and pulls another dumb stunt like that, he's history.

 

[Matt308]

Yessir.

 

[A4K]

Is this guy connected to 'raging Lunatic' somehow..? Sounded like some of the examples you guys quoted from him.

 

[timshatz]

To be honest, I couldn't understand his story. It was unreadable.

Not offended 'cause I couldn't figure out what he was saying. Something about being gay or some such.

 

[Njaco]

I think he's fly boy's cousin. One post he edited because he "Needed friends".