Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)
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Airframes
Benevolens Magister
Nice one!!
BikerBabe
Senior Master Sergeant
ian lanc
Senior Airman
F16 vs. C-130
A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.
The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.
The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?
The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'
The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll.'
When you are young foolish - speed flash may seem a good thing !!!
When you get older smarter - comfort dull is not such a bad thing !!!
ian.
A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.
The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.
The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?
The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'
The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'
The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll.'
When you are young foolish - speed flash may seem a good thing !!!
When you get older smarter - comfort dull is not such a bad thing !!!
ian.
B-17engineer
Colonel
nice one!
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Good one Ian!
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
A reporter wants to get aerial shots of some California wildfires.
His request approved, the ABC News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hangar. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go.' The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'
'Why?' asked the pilot.
'Because I'm a photographer for ABC Cable News,' he responded. 'And I need to get some close up shots.'
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment. Finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me is .... You're NOT my Flight instructor??'
His request approved, the ABC News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hangar. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go.' The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'
'Why?' asked the pilot.
'Because I'm a photographer for ABC Cable News,' he responded. 'And I need to get some close up shots.'
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment. Finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me is .... You're NOT my Flight instructor??'
Beauty RA!
Airframes
Benevolens Magister
Love it !!
B-17engineer
Colonel
Hilarious!! Great !!
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Nope!..
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
I do to!!!!!!!!! Friend of mine sent me this today.
A teacher in New York asked her 6th grade class how many of
>
> them were Obama fans... Not really knowing what an Obama fan
>
> was, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids
>
> raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher
>
> asked Little Johnny why he decided to be Different... again.
>
> Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not an Obama fan.
>
> The teacher said, 'Why aren't you an Obama
> fan?'
>
> Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Republican.'
>
> The teacher asked why he's a Republican. Little Johnny
>
> answered, 'Well, My Mom's a Republican and my
>
> Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican.'
>
> The teacher asks, 'If your Mom was a moron and your Dad
>
> was an idiot, what would that make you?'
>
> With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, 'That Would
>
> make me an Obama fan..'
>
> I always liked Little Johnny.
A teacher in New York asked her 6th grade class how many of
>
> them were Obama fans... Not really knowing what an Obama fan
>
> was, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids
>
> raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher
>
> asked Little Johnny why he decided to be Different... again.
>
> Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not an Obama fan.
>
> The teacher said, 'Why aren't you an Obama
> fan?'
>
> Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Republican.'
>
> The teacher asked why he's a Republican. Little Johnny
>
> answered, 'Well, My Mom's a Republican and my
>
> Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican.'
>
> The teacher asks, 'If your Mom was a moron and your Dad
>
> was an idiot, what would that make you?'
>
> With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, 'That Would
>
> make me an Obama fan..'
>
> I always liked Little Johnny.
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
You go, Johnny!
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
LMAO, Nice!
To the Guy who tried to mug me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 03 Oct 0-9, 1:43 am EST.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives and me.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.
My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.
Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn't it?
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink pimp limo that was parked at the curb, after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone.
Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.
Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!
Thuoghtfully yours,
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives and me.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.
My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.
Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn't it?
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink pimp limo that was parked at the curb, after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone.
Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.
Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.
Have a good day!
Thuoghtfully yours,
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
