Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter v2
- Start date
Ad: This forum contains affiliate links to products on Amazon and eBay. More information in Terms and rules
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
Thats not a joke, Ferd, thats fiction.
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
This was sent to me today.
Cowboy's Honeymoon
A cowboy and his wife had just got married and found a nice hotel
for their wedding night. The man approached the front desk and
asked for a
room.
He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room, with a
good strong bed."
The clerk winked, 'You want the 'Bridal'?'
The cowboy reflected on this for a moment and then replied,
"Nope, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets
used to it."
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
To all of the above!
Maestro
Master Sergeant
I know Christmas was long ago, but I just found that "Christmas song".
It is so wrong but, oh, so funny. (Well, at least in my opinion.)
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23cjXModWpA
It is so wrong but, oh, so funny. (Well, at least in my opinion.)
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23cjXModWpA
Last edited:
BikerBabe
Senior Master Sergeant
Found this link at danish newspaper online, Morgenavisen Jyllands-Posten:
In a Seven News: News Flash, a Macquarie Bank worker can be seen looking a nude photos in the background during a live cross to Martin Lakos of Macquarie Private Wealth.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1m8a4Jl4ZI
Oopsie!
In a Seven News: News Flash, a Macquarie Bank worker can be seen looking a nude photos in the background during a live cross to Martin Lakos of Macquarie Private Wealth.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1m8a4Jl4ZI
Oopsie!
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
LMAO, NICE!
ccheese
Member In Perpetuity
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
That's funny Charles!!!
ccheese
Member In Perpetuity
Ya gotta love the Irish...
> Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat
> because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
> Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a
> parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and
> give up me Irish Whiskey!'
>
> Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
>
> Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
Charles
> Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat
> because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
> Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a
> parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and
> give up me Irish Whiskey!'
>
> Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
>
> Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
Charles
ccheese
Member In Perpetuity
Ya gotta love the Irish...
Paddy was in New York.
> He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic
> cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and
> shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
>
> He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood
> on the sidewalk.
>
> After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the
> tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ya let
> the Catholics across?'
Charles
Paddy was in New York.
> He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic
> cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and
> shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
>
> He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood
> on the sidewalk.
>
> After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the
> tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ya let
> the Catholics across?'
Charles
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
Keep'em coming Charles, those are great!!!
Go Charles!
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Paddy and Seamus were deep in the bottle one day when, in a contemplative mood, Seamus suggested they keep a bottle of the finest aged Scotch to have poured over their grave when they died. Both agreed, and purchased the finest bottles around.
Years later, Seamus was lying in his bed in the hospital, and the end was near. His family and closest friends had all gathered, and Seamus weakly motioned for Paddy to come closer. "Don't forget the bottle, and the promise we made in our youth," he whispered. "Aye," replied Paddy, "I do remember, and have the bottle that has sat untouched lo these many many years, to be poured out on your grave. But, my friend, you wouldn't mind if I filtered it through me kidneys first?"
Years later, Seamus was lying in his bed in the hospital, and the end was near. His family and closest friends had all gathered, and Seamus weakly motioned for Paddy to come closer. "Don't forget the bottle, and the promise we made in our youth," he whispered. "Aye," replied Paddy, "I do remember, and have the bottle that has sat untouched lo these many many years, to be poured out on your grave. But, my friend, you wouldn't mind if I filtered it through me kidneys first?"
Ferdinand Foch
Staff Sergeant
I gotta email these to my grandpa, he'll love them. Keep them coming, guys!
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
Good one RA, good one!
