Maestro
Master Sergeant
Quotes and Jokes
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B-17engineer
Colonel
Dora the explorer, stop f*cking around and get a GPS.
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
I lost the trivia contest at the Church social last night by one point.
The last question was: "Where do most women have curly hair?"
Apparently the correct answer is "Africa."
Also, I've been asked to find another place to worship.
The last question was: "Where do most women have curly hair?"
Apparently the correct answer is "Africa."
Also, I've been asked to find another place to worship.
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
Maestro
Master Sergeant
BikerBabe
Senior Master Sergeant
WayneL: Love the description of Oz - my uncle went Down Under because of "tax problems" many years ago - I guess Adelaide hasn't recovered since then. 
RabidAlien:
A pic I found online tonight....all I'll say is: Hmmmm!
RabidAlien:
A pic I found online tonight....all I'll say is: Hmmmm!
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
I recognize that book, it's one of Uncle John's Bathroom Readers.
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
While visiting Annapolis, a lady tourist noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.
"What are they doing?" she asked the tour guide.
"Each year," he replied with a grin, "the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."
When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: "So, what's the answer?"
The guide replied: "One."
"What are they doing?" she asked the tour guide.
"Each year," he replied with a grin, "the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."
When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: "So, what's the answer?"
The guide replied: "One."
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
That's just mean!
"Though my soul may set in darkness, It will rise in perfect light, I have loved the stars too fondly To be fearful of the night"
"It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give. And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live."
"Though my soul may set in darkness, It will rise in perfect light, I have loved the stars too fondly To be fearful of the night"
"It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give. And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live."
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
From an email I got awhile back (note...not intended to be personally offensive towards anyone; these ads are simply representative of the "norm" at that particular time):
Attachments
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
Amazing, and not too long ago.
wheelsup_cavu
1st Sergeant
Nooo comment.
Wheels
Wheels
sabrina
Airman 1st Class
Lol!!!! During my research I was reading about how members of the Women Airforce Service Pilots, the experimental WWII program, were required to tell their male instructors when their cycles began and ended so that the instructor could record how it affected their performance. The country was petrified that a woman in her period wouldn't be able to fly, or would go on a rampage of sorts, and so made it necessary to divulge your "schedule" to the instructor.
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
"Its that time of the month, sir.""Ooookeedokee. No loops or rolls today."
wheelsup_cavu
1st Sergeant
That's why they only flew unarmed planes.
Wheels
Wheels
My brother in Law sent me this one...
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks is that he embezzled from me."
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is.
Enzo signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo's temple and says, "Ask him again!"
The lawyer signs to Enzo, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Enzo signs back, "OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno's backyard in Woodbridge!"
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks is that he embezzled from me."
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is.
Enzo signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo's temple and says, "Ask him again!"
The lawyer signs to Enzo, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Enzo signs back, "OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno's backyard in Woodbridge!"
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
Heh. Frikkin lawyers.
